ABC News Interview – When Moms Flip Out
When Parents Flip Out – you know that moment when your kids drive you to the absolute brink, and you go ballistic shouting at them to correct whatever is wrong? Clean up your mess! Put your shoes away! Get your homework done! Quit fighting! etc.
Not every parent flips out like that. I happen to be one who stays cool, calm, and collected.
How do I do it? I was recently asked that as a guest on the ABC News Now show Moms Get Real, hosted by Emmy Award-winning news correspondent Juju Chang, for a video segment titled When Moms Flip Out. It’s fun and conversational, not all serious.
Don’t worry, this isn’t about moms flipping out and dads staying cool. The segments tend to have more of a mom audience, hence Mom in the name. As a single dad who does all the parenting in my house, I get asked to share my parenting perspectives on mom blogs and shows.
If you’re dieing to see and hear me talk, by all means queue the video… (I appear in the last 3 minutes of the segment) Feel free to make fun of my eyes that couldn’t seem to find the camera lens. And while Juju Chang correctly named my blog DadsHouseBlog.com, the production assistant had other ideas in the swanky graphic. (Doh!)
In the clip, I shared how I stay cool, calm, and collected with my kids, fostering a respectful and considerate attitude from them in return. (Here’s the same video clip at ABC News: “Flip Out” Triggers, and How Moms Handle Them.)
While I’m tooting my media horn, other appearances I made this past fall include a guest spot on CBS radio, Los Angeles, for The Rules of Engagement, hosted by relationship expert and the nation’s top matchmaker, Amber Kelleher. Also, CNN.com interviewed me for a single dad’s take on Jon and Kate Gosselin’s divorce.
I’d tell Mr. DeMille that I’m ready for my close-up, but I don’t think he’s on Skype!
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Comment by Nicki
| December 11th, 2009
Okay, the irony is that I JUST discovered and downloaded Skype after the cookie party Wednesday night. Unfortunately, I have discovered the camera hates me. Luckily, I’m obscure and that won’t be an issue. ;)
PS. Nice family picture in there.
Nicki´s last blog ..May I have your attention, please?
Comment by Ginger Magnolia
| December 11th, 2009
Awesome, and what a handsome family you have! It’s nice to put a voice to your face & your words.
I can’t help but wonder how upset those ladies kids would be if they knew their moms were talking about them like that on tv.
Ginger Magnolia´s last blog ..Mish Mash
Comment by Barry
| December 11th, 2009
David, thanks for being cool,calm, and collected. I will get myself in trouble here, but the other two women made my skin crawl. Nothing drives me more crazy then making big deals about everyday issues of dealing with your kids. When moms flip out. Please! “I screamed at my kids and I just lost it and blah blah blah…..” Ugh… Welcome to parenthood!
Barry´s last blog ..This Week’s Pep Talk Video: “Solve the Unsolvable”
Comment by Travis
| December 11th, 2009
I’ve actually grown sympathetic to the moms who crumble. (Which becomes another reason, why men should step up)
I’ve always been the very rational analytic person. when my kids were screaming their heads off, I would analyze it until I figured out what was going on (Unless I’m in the car, van’s suck for acoustics). I would take a couple of hours, but once discovered, I could repeat the result.
In talking with a friend who went through a snapping moment. It seems that the energy get’s worn down (Mix in some post-pardeum depression) and you have a recipe for a melt down.
With many years of this high stress (women tend to worry a lot) so it’s no surprise that over this long period of time, they just snap. scream and yell. I’ve seen this in person, it’s almost like you can’t stop it. It becomes easily noticeable, as she starts to physically change. Her mannerisms become aggressive. Everything is irritating her.
As an example. Look at how women, who get feed up with their boyfriends/husband get to the point where they snap at them. As children, they can easily trigger those buttons, a whole lot quicker.
And, then it’s as if the fuze went down to the core, and boom. It becomes this big emotional and verbal abuse scene.
The fallout is great. And sad to witness.
Now, I have stepped in many times early on as I got good at the warning signs. To deflect the anger. Which allowed the kids to not experience it at the cost of me taking the brunt of it.
Which is okay, it’s what we father’s do.
@Barry, take a moment and understand why they just snap and work on the problem. If they are flipping out, there is a reason. Sure they have to work on the emotional responses, but something is triggering this response.
Travis´s last blog ..I Can’t Control My Fingers I Can’t Control My Toes
Comment by Vinomom
| December 11th, 2009
I liked that interview with everyone. Great job, and it was a very nice family picture!
Vinomom´s last blog ..Photoshop: A christmas card gift from God
Comment by Mindy/Single Mom Says...
| December 11th, 2009
Way to go, David! You were calm, cool and collected and yes, that’s defintely the preferred way to parent.
That being said, I challenge anyone to be a single parent of four girls (two teens) and not ever yell. ;)
Mindy/Single Mom Says…´s last blog ..Single Mom Holiday Hustle & Bustle
Comment by staciesmadness
| December 11th, 2009
you’re a superstar…
staciesmadness´s last blog ..Happy Holidays…aka busy time.
Comment by Sandra
| December 11th, 2009
You media whore you, lol.
I liked how you kept raising your eyebrows. It was kinda like you were winking at me, and I felt special !
I have definitely pushed my mom to the edge before I was ten. I am not even a parent, and I feel for parents who lose their shit once in a while. I never buy into “the perfect parent” facade anyway.
Sandra´s last blog ..F*ck !
Comment by BigLittleWolf
| December 11th, 2009
Very cool! How nice to see you – live action! (And we all approach that edge at times, and then pull ourselves back.)
BigLittleWolf´s last blog ..The life I do not lead
Comment by BroRobert
| December 11th, 2009
Love the fish-eye lens from Skype! Congrats on the interview.
Comment by T
| December 11th, 2009
Awesome video! I completely agree with you that yelling doesn’t help. It really doesn’t. But I also know my own triggers (tired, frustrated with something else, trying to focus) that make me start yelling. And as you said, sometimes its hard to keep up with it all because of time.
Hopefully, the awareness helps so that we can all strive to be calm, cool and collected.
T´s last blog .."And my husband lives next door…"
Comment by Unknown Mami
| December 11th, 2009
Well done! My daughter is 15 months old and has only recently started exhibiting her temper. I am not the most calm, cool, or collected person in the world, but for some reason I really believe I can be different with her and that it will affect other areas of my life as well.
Unknown Mami´s last blog ..Fragmented Fridays
Comment by Keith Wilcox
| December 11th, 2009
Wow! That’s so cool. You sounded calm cool and collected yourself during that segment. I was in a Woodsy the Owl commercial in 1984 (I think it was 84), but that’s the only time I’ve ever been on TV (oh, except the time I made sports center in 1994 :-)
It’s so cool to see you talk. Some people in our blogging community are so mysterious; I want to know who they are, but I never get to know them beyond the written word. That’s why I have put so many videos of me up on my blog. Seeing someone talk and move just makes the blogging experience so much better and personal.
Your segment was great. Keep it up!
Keith Wilcox´s last blog ..School Lunch Meat – Eww!
Comment by Kelloggsville
| December 11th, 2009
wow – how much did you NOT look like I expected you to!!! Isn’t it strange how we project faces onto people we don’t know (ps I’m 5′8, blone and VERY fit!) On the point in question: I lose it with my daughter about once a month and regret it every time but on the whole I’m in your corner and trying very hard but she’s only 11, so years of teen frustrations to come!
Kelloggsville´s last blog ..Heart Break Hotel
Comment by Andrea
| December 12th, 2009
Wahoo! Now you’re famous :)
I’m prone to yelling on occassion (ehem). I am trying to be better about talking calmly. But my kids at 3 and almost 8 have made me so nuts in the past five months (I’m currently solo parenting) that the mean mom side does tend to come out. They know I love them though and hopefully we can continue to exist in the same house!
Andrea´s last blog ..Final Day! Dork Diaries Giveaway!
Comment by thewildmind
| December 12th, 2009
David,
Loved the entire piece both text and vid. You did a great job!
Avoiding the flip outs is a topic I deal with daily both professionally and at home with my own four children ranging in ages from 9=19, and I get paid to present to educators and parents on this very topic. It is possible to create the kind of climate at home that instills order, respect and kids actually complying with parental wishes. It takes a bit of forethought and strategizing like you mentioned you did early on when your children were young and a boatload of respect and commitment to the end result (like you mentioned),but even if parents are late to the game with all this, dramatic and positive change can happen to avoid those moments that lend themselves to the “flip out”.
That being said, I have to be honest, I’ve had my moments, too. I didn’t have the best parenting model in this area and so as an adult who wanted to parent very differently than I was parented I’ve worked overtime to gain the skills I didn’t see modeled when I was growing up. One of my key strategies for success? Surround myself with people who have the skills I lack and emulate them till those skills become second nature to me.
This is a very good piece, David. Relevant, timely, and I think something that resonates with so many of us.
thewildmind´s last blog ..Email? Viagra? Spam? Or What’s In Your Inbox These Days?
Comment by mama llama
| December 12th, 2009
Dads, what a great topic, and a very important one to address, specifically for overworked/overwhelmed single parents who don’t get a lot of down time away from their kids. I find myself very quick to snap when I am tired or, as addressed on the video, when I do not feel listened to. However, I also find myself addressing the situation much in the same way you do; when I humanly falter, I get myself down (after calming down) immediately to their level, eye-to-eye and we initiate an empathizing session. Especially my 8 year old monkey can now understand the frustration that accompanies the feeling ignored or not heard, so that is helping us to cope.
Baby steps. What a great job, Dads! –I’m thrilled for you and your national TV exposure!
Be well, Dads.
mama llama´s last blog ..The Return of Mama Llama
Comment by mama llama
| December 13th, 2009
This post inspired me to write on my big flip out–a humiliating and humbling and terrifying experience. I had long been so scared to revisit the issue, but it is now time to put it behind me.
Be well, Dads.
mama llama´s last blog ..Raw
Comment by Danielle
| December 14th, 2009
Boy, I wish I could get that concept down as well as you have it. I find that I really only loose my cool when my daughter hurts me. Like head butting… I know that as a 2 year old, she doesn’t mean it or get it, but that is when I seem to loose my cool.
Danielle´s last blog ..Dear Lil Sis, YES YOU!
Comment by katherine.
| December 14th, 2009
ahhhhh….we knew him when…
In addition to your wise approach…I think having them half time is a factor.
The family photo is great….
katherine.´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday ~ my favorites
Comment by Lance
| December 15th, 2009
Hahaha…mydadshouse.com. That link goes absolutely nowhere!
Lance´s last blog ..A Tale of A Compromise
Comment by dadshouse
| December 15th, 2009
At least it’s not a porn site! (knock on wood)
Doh!
Comment by notasoccermom
| December 16th, 2009
congrats. It was great to see you in action. Good to hear a dads point of view as always.
notasoccermom´s last blog ..Holiday Stress doesn’t have to be
Comment by krn
| December 20th, 2009
Hi Dad’s! *waves* I’ve missed you (reading here- new job and new love keeping me busy) lately, so popping in to find you in person via this video post was a special treat tonight.
Happy holiday season to you and your kids~ and to your readers.
My Christmas wish for you is the same as last year. I’m hopeful that you will continue to send your love wish list out to the universe again this year in hopes that She will walk into your life and open heart. Keep believing. I’m living proof that asking for what you’d like and being open works.
Blessings~
K.
Comment by oshea12566
| January 22nd, 2010
Good job on the interview. You sounded intelligent, very articulate even though your shirt was not buttoned right. :-)
oshea12566´s last blog ..DANCE!!