Voss
Each year Santa fills my kids’ stockings with little toys and edible treats (same as he does for every other kid.) But this year he left one thing that was decidedly different – a bottle of still water from Norway.
Voss.
(For those not in the know, Voss is super expensive water they serve up in Beverly Hills’ finest eateries.)
“This Voss is really good,” my son said. “Where do you think Santa got it?”
My son is 13, so he’s no dummy. But I like stretching the Christmas magic out as many years as I can. ”Voss is from Norway, and that’s near the North Pole,” I said. “He probably just loaded up on his way here.”
“What if Santa ran out off Voss and had to purchase it on his way here,” my son said. “Who do you think sells it?”
“Cost Plus World Market,” I said. At least that’s where I happened to see Voss when I was buying other things for other people (not buying little toys and edible treats for anyone’s Christmas stockings!)
Later that day, my mom was talking about the World Market coupons she received and threw away. After all, Christmas was over. World Market is the sort of store we shop at once a year, and we had been there and done that this year.
My son dug the coupons out of the trash.
“Look, Dad,” he said. “We can get 10% off Voss!”
We went and bought a few more bottles. My son is drinking it like crazy now. Anyone see a zip code change for him, anytime soon? (90210, baby!)
“Voss is too expensive to drink all the time,” I said. “It’s best enjoyed on special occasions.”
“Don’t worry,” my son said. “I’m just going to drink a bottle a day until my body is purified. I’m thinking four or five days tops.”
WTF?! Next year, if Santa brings my kids water, it better be from the tap!
Photo by tnarik, some rights reserved.
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Comment by BigLittleWolf
| December 28th, 2009
Huh. Now that’s a coincidence. My kids got some chocolate from World Market… via Santa, of course. Definitely not for purifying their bodies, and not near the North Pole, and not 90210 style. West Coast Saint Nick has interesting shopping habits.
BigLittleWolf´s last blog ..Sex vs Lovemaking – why are we so confused?
Comment by Cece
| December 28th, 2009
Just discovered your blog! Have been enjoying reading it.Purifying the body hugh? Next thing he will start yoga and go on a retrea! Buckle your seat belt.
Cece
Cece´s last blog ..I am Not Guilty!
Comment by Nicki
| December 28th, 2009
Yeah, I had a massage once where the masseuse met me outside of the door with Voss. It was probably the only thing that roused me from that table…okay that and the thought that I didn’t want anyone to walk in and find me passed out naked under a sheet. But yummmmm, Voss.
Nicki´s last blog ..Meals made simple…
Comment by Kat Wilder
| December 28th, 2009
Bottled water is an ecological disaster, and one coming from Norway is even more so. Plus,it often has more impurities than tap water, so so much for “cleansing.”
I thought Santa got the local, organic, sustainable, fair-trade memo, too …
Kat Wilder´s last blog ..Who’s a better parent, a liar or an abuser?
Comment by QTMama
| December 28th, 2009
I’ve never heard of Voss, DH! But I know if I see it, now I’ll have to buy it! :) I hope you had a wonderful Christmas David.
QTMama´s last blog ..Parenting 101
Comment by Danielle
| December 28th, 2009
Never heard of it either. I guess that tells you what kind of establishments I frequent! :)
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Comment by Ginger Magnolia
| December 28th, 2009
My grandmother used to give us Evian when we stayed with her, and we thought it was SOOOOO fancy. I never would’ve thought to put “fancy” water in my kids’ stockings. I mean, Santa wouldn’t have…er…you know what I mean.
Ginger Magnolia´s last blog ..New Beginnings
Comment by Sandra
| December 28th, 2009
I still haven’t jumped on the Voss bandwagon. It’s water !
I bet it’s really tap water in a glass bottle.
Sandra´s last blog ..It Takes A Man To Use It !
Comment by notasoccermom
| December 28th, 2009
I have not heard of Voss until now. Santa brought my girls pearls and emeralds in their stockings… I think he must have sent you the leftovers. We love tap water.. many more minerals.
Merry Christmas David
notasoccermom´s last blog ..Merry Christmas to all
Comment by Travis
| December 28th, 2009
I still go for the most exotic water in existence, it comes from a intermittent spring (only two exist in the world and the other is in Japan) and you hike 5 miles into it, and from this spring you get water that is insanely great. It’s freaking cold (will hurt your teeth cause it’s so cold. In July!) It is this water, that is traded like gold. And when I get it it’s like nectar from the gods.
Travis´s last blog ..Is That Almond I Taste?
Comment by Keith Wilcox
| December 28th, 2009
Voss? I’ve been too long out of Califonia (grew up in Palos Verdes) for that to register. My kids always get an orange and a bunch of candy in their stocking. Why do I do that? I guess, just because my parents did it. Doesn’t make any sense though as candy and an orange seem like a ironic combination. Voss might make more sense!
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Comment by Jimmy
| December 28th, 2009
Ever seen the Penn & Teller BS episode when they make phony bottled water from the garden hose.
Comment by T
| December 28th, 2009
I have heard of Voss and seen it but never tried it. I’m scared too. I started on Evian at age 17 and have never looked back. That’s all I need is an expensive water habit…
T´s last blog ..Birthdays, Schmirthdays! No really, its MY birthday!!
Comment by Anne
| December 29th, 2009
Norway or not, it’s just water in the end. Weird thing for Santa to be bringing, I think? Not that I’m an expert (I’m Jewish and Israeli). I can only imagine how much the water costs if your son would dig through the trash can for that discount ;)
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Comment by Heather
| December 29th, 2009
Too funny!!!
Heather´s last blog ..Working Mommy Wednesday
Comment by thewildmind
| January 4th, 2010
LOL! You could just save the bottles for next year and refill them with tap water…
Okay, maybe not.
I had some when I was in SFO this summer. Loved it! Have to figure out if I can find it here in the back woods of the Pacific Northwest.
thewildmind´s last blog ..Avatar’s “Hidden Messages”: Who’s Hiding?