Single Dad Shopping Perks at the Mall
I hate shopping. Don’t get me wrong, I’m fine getting groceries or stocking up on booze. But going to the mall simply isn’t in my DNA. Shopping therapy is an oxymoron to me.
When it came to holiday shopping, my kids bailed me out by going with me. Still, at some point I needed to pick stuff out for them.
My teen daughter needed a new pair of expensive jeans, so I went to an upscale jeans store with a size and style dictated by her mom. The thing was, I also wanted to pick out something for my daughter just from me. I found the cutest fur-lined embroidered hoodie sweatshirt. Best of all, the salesclerk found a size she said would be just right for my daughter, and assured me if it didn’t fit (or my daughter didn’t like it), we could return it – no problem.
That’s when the problems started.
My daughter loved the sweatshirt, but it was a size too small. The jeans didn’t fit, either. Ugh. I went back to the dreaded mall, this time with my daughter in tow.
The salesclerk who helped me wasn’t there, but the manager was happy to assist. She was a cute and smiling 30-year-old, making her about half-way between my daughter’s and my age. Meaning she sort of could relate to both of us. (No, that’s not me enjoying an older man younger woman fantasy. She really did connect with both of us. Hey, it’s her job!)
“Oh, we sold out of your daughter’s size in that sweatshirt three weeks ago,” the manager said. (i.e. two weeks before they sold one to me.)
“So the clerk pushed the wrong size on me?” I asked.
“We can exchange it for store credit.”
I was pissed. I may be a single dad who hates shopping, but I’m not a nit-wit. I sort of know what size clothing my daughter fits into, and the clerk had given us something way too small. (I didn’t check the size when she sold it, because she swore it would fit. My daughter was about the same size as the clerk.)
I asked the manager to call other stores and find the sweatshirt. No problem, she was happy to help. While my daughter tried on jeans, the manager called bay area franchises – San Jose, Monterey, Oakland, San Francisco. No one had a sweatshirt in the right size.
As she called, we chatted a bit. She was impressed I’d tried to pick out clothes for my daughter. But what choice did I have? I’m a single dad. I didn’t want to buy a gift card, and I wasn’t going t to only pick out stuff my ex suggested. I wanted a gift from me.
Turns out the manager had been raised by a single dad, and he couldn’t pick out a thing. She loved me, immediately.
“I’m going to find this sweatshirt for you,” she said. “Even if I have to call New York!”
“Thanks, I appreciate it,” I said.
“I’m also going to give you the sale price. It’s half off!”
She told me a humorous story about her dad buying a swimsuit so she could join the swim team. Forget Speedos – he picked out some 1920’s piece that covered her shoulders and buttoned at the bottom.
“That’s really funny,” I said. “I know enough to let my daughter pick out her own swimsuit. But I give your dad props for trying.”
The clerk smiled. “I’m giving you the sales price on the jeans, too,” she said. “That’s another half off!”
One more phone call to who-knows-where, and she found the sweatshirt in the right size. “I’ll have it sent straight to your home,” she said. “And I’m waving the shipping cost!”
By the time my daughter came out of the change room with a pair of jeans that fit, I was in a great mood. We were getting a sweatshirt and jeans that fit, for half the price. But of course, I’d already spent the money – I told my daughter to pick out whatever she liked.
“I don’t need anything else,” my daughter said.
The manager and I looked at each other with a face that said, is my teen daughter crazy, or what?!
“Can you help her find something?” I asked the manager. “Spend everything we saved. I’ll go get a coffee.”
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And so my daughter was treated to a little shopping spree. She didn’t quite spend all the money we saved. But the manager waved the store credit and gave me the cash back.
Walking to the car, my daughter asked how I had scored so well with the manager. After all, I was pissed and annoyed when I entered the store.
“I just turned on my single dad charm,” I said.
My daughter looked at me skeptically, and I fessed up.
“Turns out she was raised by a single dad,” I said. “The manager liked that I was trying.”
My daughter gave me a squeeze. And I have to admit, hitting the mall for shopping that day wasn’t so bad, after all. (Do I lose manliness points by admitting as much?)
- What a Dad Needs to Know About His Daughter
- A Dad Watches His Daughter
- I Love Raising Teens
- Parenting is a Contact Sport
- My Teen Daughter is Dating
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Comment by Cece
| January 4th, 2010
You GAINED manliness points big time! That hug was worth lots of points to your daughter!
Cece
Cece´s last blog ..“I do not Wear Anything!”
Comment by Andrea
| January 4th, 2010
Not at all. You are braver than me. Visiting the mall freaks me out. I’m female I should like the mall but I’ll take internet shopping anyday.
You were sweet to do something for her even though it was really not high on your list of places you like to go.
Andrea´s last blog ..I’m just joining the hoopla
Comment by Heather
| January 4th, 2010
Awesome!! I was waiting for the line that you walked out with her number too! LOL
Heather´s last blog ..New Year….New puppy
Comment by Nicki
| January 4th, 2010
You know you rock as a dad period, single or otherwise. Big kudos!
Nicki´s last blog ..Alert the press…
Comment by thewildmind
| January 4th, 2010
That was a really sweet story. I’m with Heather, I was waiting for the line that you walked out with her number too!
thewildmind´s last blog ..Avatar’s “Hidden Messages”: Who’s Hiding?
Comment by BigLittleWolf
| January 4th, 2010
It is a lovely story. (I was also expecting you’d get digits!)
BigLittleWolf´s last blog ..A rumpled suit, Jon Hamm, Brigitte Bardot, a book by its cover
Comment by Cathouse Teri
| January 4th, 2010
Sorry, I got stuck at “my teen daughter needed a new pair of expensive jeans.”
Cathouse Teri´s last blog ..From Andy Rooney?
Comment by QTMama
| January 4th, 2010
I read this quote over at CaNook’s blog today, and I think it applies here!
“It is admirable for a man to take his son fishing, but there is a special place in heaven for the father who takes his daughter shopping.” —John Sinor
Yea, you got that place in heaven for shizzle. ;)
QTMama´s last blog ..Weird Thing of the Week
Comment by Mindy/Single Mom Says...
| January 4th, 2010
GREAT score David!
Way to work that single dad charm. :)
Mindy/Single Mom Says…´s last blog ..Can Friendships with the Opposite Sex (peacefully) Coexist with your Relationship?
Comment by ditz
| January 4th, 2010
Very cool David. Definitely manly points on this one.
Comment by T
| January 4th, 2010
Aw! Yay! That sounds like a really great daddy-daughter bonding experience. AND great flirting practice! ;)
You definitely charmed her socks off? Half price? Sheesh!
Wanna go shopping?
T´s last blog ..Emotional whirlpool
Comment by Kat Wilder
| January 4th, 2010
Well, kudos for getting the proper treatment — customer service is anything but nowadays — but, like the other Cat, you had me pause on My teen daughter needed a new pair of expensive jeans. .
Why expensive?
And, what is expensive?
Forgive me, but I have a teenaged son so I know not of what teenage girls “need.” But, if he wants anything “expensive,” he darn well better pay for it himself.!
Good Lord; am I starting the new year off with a snark??
Kat Wilder´s last blog ..The only New Year’s resolution we need
Comment by BigLittleWolf
| January 4th, 2010
And may I wish a very Happy New Year to you and yours, DM!
BigLittleWolf´s last blog ..Why I wouldn’t shave my head
Comment by MommaSunshine
| January 4th, 2010
Hey, whatever works for bonding. :) Good on you!
MommaSunshine´s last blog ..Our “family feeling”
Comment by dadshouse
| January 4th, 2010
Girls and women I know in Silicon Valley and San Francisco wear brands like Lucky, and compared to my Levis, they are damn expensive! The good news is, my daughter only buys a new pair when she actually needs them.
Comment by Sandra
| January 4th, 2010
Most women here in Silicone Valley do buy expensive jeans but I am not one of them. Since my ass is round and juicy it is that much harder to fit into jeans like that for women thinner around the hips.
Kudos to you for taking your daughter shopping. My father could’ve never pulled that off !
Sandra´s last blog ..Done
Comment by Travis
| January 4th, 2010
Oh man, I took my two girls to a mall and spa and pampered them in all my single-dad glory. It really is pretty awesome when you get that kind of response from your girls.
And, I’ve tossed out my Man card for a Dad card… It has way better benefits.
Travis´s last blog ..I Come Around Catching Sparks Off You
Comment by Elizabeth
| January 4th, 2010
Ah, but David, when will you return to the mall? Next Christmas?
What comes through loud and clear is your good relationship with your daughter — which is what she’ll recall when the jeans are at Goodwill.
Elizabeth´s last blog ..Not your grandma’s clergy
Comment by dadshouse
| January 4th, 2010
Elizaeth – I tend to go twice a year. Once at Christmas, and once in spring when I stock up on board shorts, cargo shorts, flip flops, etc. My favorite shopping time of the year!
And yep – the experience is the thing long remembered. Not the jeans themselves.
Comment by mama llama
| January 4th, 2010
That post made me feel so proud, David! The customer service will come full circle when the charm, conversation–the *humanity*–returns to the process. I had a very slightly similar experience yesterday at the (ugh) Mall, not as $$ nor as in-depth as yours, but decent human treatment and a bit of empathy borne from a good attitude, some conversation and a smile. It makes everything just a bit more pleasant!
Be well, Dads.
mama llama´s last blog ..Undoing parenting
Comment by dadshouse
| January 4th, 2010
Mama Llama – you don’t get that on Amazon.com, do you?! Here’s to human contact and a positive attitude!
Comment by notasoccermom
| January 4th, 2010
Great post. I think it was great that you didnt take the opportunity to flirt and get her number when clearly she was impressed with you and your daughter. Truly there are many fathers out there who dont even know their daughters or anything in their lives. No matter if it is at the mall, or buying overpriced jeans, You are being a DAD. Big points for that.
notasoccermom´s last blog ..I sure see my year from a different perspective today.
Comment by Keith Wilcox
| January 4th, 2010
That, sir, is a very sweet story. I can’t think of a time that I’ve been able to really capture someone’s empathy like that. I would give you massive props for trying as well. Being a stay at home dad I sometimes think of what it would be like if I had two girls instead of two boys. I always think it would be much more difficult since I do not relate to women very well. But, Take that feeling and add being single and that’s a completely different story. Yes, indeed, you deserve an A for effort.
Keith Wilcox´s last blog ..Curious Kids: Stupid Comes Before Smart
Comment by Heather
| January 5th, 2010
so you didn’t walk out with her number?!? LOL Like how he’s avoiding that post?!!!!
Heather´s last blog ..Not Me Monday!
Comment by Danielle
| January 5th, 2010
I love this post. You scored big with this one!!!
So why didn’t you get a date out of it?
Danielle´s last blog ..Kicking Ass in 2010
Comment by Honey
| January 5th, 2010
Haha, I also got stuck on the “needing” expensive jeans. I was capped at spending $30 a pair until I went to college and was spending my own money…and I still can’t bring myself to spend any more than $60 at the Gap.
Honey´s last blog ..Beautifulpeople.com gives 5000 Fatties the Boot
Comment by Sharon
| January 16th, 2010
Kudos, David! Trust me, your daughter will remember this FOREVER. My dad (between his & my mother’s frequent marriages and divorces–with each other) bought me a coat, because he thought the one I was wearing was just ‘not me’. The one he bought was a reversible jacket, black velveteen on one side, parachute material on the inside,3 cords to tighten the bottom, middle and hood with great big gold toggles on the ends that hung to my knees, a few sizes off…you get the idea. I wore it whenever I knew I would see him and it hangs in my closet wrapped in plastic to this day. He’s gone now, but whenever I need my ‘Daddy’ fix (and I’m 43), I just hug my jacket.
So basically, good for you and lucky daughter.
Comment by sexandthesingledad
| January 20th, 2010
Good for you, bro! I have to deal with the same stuff all the time, except that my 12-year-old daughter hasn’t seen her mom in years, so I have to pick out all the stuff myself. Keep doing a great job!