Dad’s House

David Mott is on vacation this week, but he invited his favorite bloggers to take over Dad’s House while he’s gone. Today What Men Think pokes around the walk-in closet…

Jimmy Choo Pumps. $600
Louis Vuitton Hand Bag & Wallet. $2500
Chanel Sunglasses. $300
True Religion Jeans. $250
Ed Hardy Basic Tee. $60
Tiffany & Co Pendant. $950
Victoria’s Secret Bra & Panty $75
Dior Watch. $1800

Total? $6535

This would be the average of what I see on Rodeo Dr. or Melrose Ave. in Los Angeles, California. Fortunately, most of America isn’t like Los Angeles. Unfortunately, this is a pretty thrifty outfit for many in Hollywood (including the men).

If I didn’t have to dress up for my business, I would wear a plain T-Shirt and Jeans/Shorts most of the time. Men are simple when it comes to fashion. We like simplicity and comfort. I state on my “About the Blogger” section that I like “back to basics fashion”. I think that a healthy body looks great in a pair of blue jeans a simple white t-shirt. Health and simplicity is a timeless fashion. I see a lot of women get preoccupied with the latest trends and designer goods.

Sadly, the truth about, “What men think about luxury fashion?”
Answer, “Huh?” Don’t ask a man about women’s fashion.

Can I get an amen?

© 2008 What Men Think. All rights reserved. Published by DadsHouseBlog.com with permission from the author.

David Mott is on vacation this week, and guest bloggers have the keys to Dad’s House. The party continues today as Lance from HoneyAndLance.com hangs out at the pool and offers dating advice for 40-something men… (btw - if that brunette is still in the Dad’s House pool when I get home, she can stay for good - DM)

Since DM talks a fair amount about dating as a single parent, I thought I would try my hand at some dating tips aimed specifically at DM’s demographic, that is forty-something single men. Since I’m not a forty-something, this is partly based on what I understand about the principles of attraction, but also what I know from a few guys I’ve talked to. Much of this advice would work for a woman also (I think).

Before we start, I want to establish something right out of the gate. Forty-something men are usually looking to date younger women. Shocker, right? That’s a reality, and you can find overwhelming evidence on every online dating site where older guys post their preferred age range. If you’re a younger, attractive woman on one of these sites, you know exactly what I’m talking about. I’m not hating, I’m saying that’s the way it is.

Alrighty, here’s my advice for 40+ guys looking to snag/shag younger women.

Get a cool haircut. If you’ve got a dorky haircut, time to ditch it. Grow it out a bit, go to an expensive stylist and tell them you want to look cool. You don’t have to look like a rock star, but you certainly don’t want to look like the Geico rep either. This is an actionable item right now.

Get some cool threads. This one is huge. In your off hours, make sure you don’t dress like the high school physics teacher. Find a look that suits your body type and get clothes that flatter. Are you tall and thin? Try the long sleeved shirts from Express. If you’re the clean cut type, shop Banana Republic. Also, get a couple pairs of expensive jeans, like don’t be afraid to blow $150 or more on a pair. Also, buy some expensive shoes, again well over $100. Women notice this stuff immediately. Young women will see that you’re hip and with it. This is another actionable item.

Find Commonalities. This includes music, television, movies, websites, books, places to eat and go out, etc. Hey, if you’re going after the 28-year-old hottie and you’re 45, you better know who Incubus is when she starts telling you about their latest concert. Find out what the young chicks are into. If you’re woefully behind the times on music, I suggest spending an afternoon browsing Youtube vids or listening to Pandora.

Play sports or go to the gym. DM is in terrific shape so this doesn’t apply to him, but if you’re a forty-something and obese and balding, you’ve got no shot at the young babes unless you happen to also be a billionaire or Salman Rushdie. Get your butt to the gym and burn off the spare tire. You’ll look better, feel better, and be better positioned to attract any woman.

Be social. Can’t emphasize this enough. This means going to bars and social venues and interacting with the younger set. I would go further and try organizing parties at your house or forming a social group based around your interests. You’re never too old to throw a pool party on a Saturday afternoon or organize a cool dinner party. Don’t limit yourself to online dating…take charge and be a social organizer.

The great thing about throwing parties is that it gives you an excuse to talk to women. That’s right, go to a nice bar on a Friday night with your buds, open the hotties, and towards the end of the interaction invite them to the pool party you’re throwing at your pimp pad in two weeks. Get a number or a Myspace address while you’re at it. It’s much easier to number close if you have something of value to give the chick, that value being the great party you’re inviting her to.

Make a Myspace or Facebook page. It’s dawned on me in the last few months how relevant social networking is to dating, and how effective a good page can be. Race and Kelly, who specialize in social network game, say having a good Myspace page is like having a PR firm working for you 24/7. I totally agree. Get yourself an account, customize it, and put tons of good pictures on there. Not only will this help get you noticed, but it’s a great way to screen potential dates. It’s also easier to get someone’s Myspace info than getting a phone number.

Those are some of the basics to make you more attractive to younger women. Since you’re a 40+ guy, I’m assuming you’ve got your money handled and a solid place to live, which solves much of the social value problem. Keep in mind, chicks are looking for confident, ambitious, secure men, and you’ve already got that. Do the stuff above and you’ll be fun and cool too.

Ladies, do you agree or disagree?

© 2008 HoneyAndLance.com. All rights reserved. Published by DadsHouseBlog.com with permission from the author.

David Mott is on vacation this week, but he left the keys to Dad’s House with some fabulous guest bloggers. Today, Single Mom Seeking’s Rachel Sarah visits the kid’s room…

If my kid had it her way, I’d never have a boyfriend. I’d never go on another date.

My daughter was seven months old when her father walked out and I became a single mom. At that point, I thought my life was over. At age 28, I’d concluded that men were the antagonists.

Well, that didn’t last long. One year later — when my ex clearly wasn’t returning from his European adventure — I was back in the game.

Dating with a toddler was easy-peasy. But as Dad’s House knows, as you get savvier, so do your kids. Also, since it’s just the two of us, Mae and I have quite a super-glue bond.

The last time I went on a date, eight-year-old Mae wanted to know:

• “Where are you going?”
• “Who are you going with?”

I hope that she’ll be honest with me when she’s a teen, like David’s kids. So, I try to model openness.

Me: “I’m going to out for dinner with a friend.”

Mae: “Which friend?”

Me: “His name is Mark–”

Mae: “How do know him?”

You get the picture.

This year in school, Mae’s teacher led a whole course in poetry, and Mae’s favorite style was haiku. If she was going to write a haiku about our future, I think it would go like this:

Mom, don’t get married
Our family is perfect
Just the way it is

Still, I never imagined my life like this. I was sure that I’d be deep into a long-term relationship by now. I’m turning 36 this month (July). I probably won’t have any more kids. But will I ever have a real partner?

The longer I do this — single parenting — the easier it gets. While I haven’t given up finding some strapping, easygoing, here’s-a-love-note-in-your-pocket kind of man, I’m not sure if I want to add a man to our little duo. Maybe my kid is right. Maybe our little family is perfect.

Maybe I just want a man after dark.

Let’s hear from you…. Do see marriage in your future? Or, do you simply want someone after hours?

Rachel Sarah
http://www.singlemomseeking.com/blog

Author of Single Mom Seeking: Play Dates, Blind Dates, and Other Dispatches from the Dating World (2007, Seal Press/Avalon).

© 2008 SingleMomSeeking.com. All rights reserved. Published by DadsHouseBlog.com with permission from the author.

Over the long weekend a buddy and I spent a day wine tasting in the Santa Cruz mountains. Which is to say, rather than tasting we socialized and drank. As it should be for a single dad like me. (My buddy is married, which could spell wingman trouble, but he’s a good and respectful companion, not someone who lies to women.)

No matter the region - Napa, Sonoma, Monterey, Paso Robles, Santa Barbara, Santa Ynez, Santa Cruz – wineries are great places for singles to meet. Simply step up to the tasting bar next to a pair of attractive women. In ten minutes, you can rub shoulders, engage in conversation, amuse with wit. And you don’t have to know a thing about wine. If the tasting ends with no connection, everyone goes their merry way. But if there’s a spark or you simply get along, you can suggest meeting up at another winery. All these things happened this past weekend, so it was a typical good day.

And then I fell hard for one of the pourers.

We entered a less-trafficked winery and she immediately turned my head. Thirty-something, cute, athletic, nice smile, a little shy. Like an older, down-to-earth, Lost in Translation Scarlett Johansson. Now then, when it comes to bars and clubs, I have practically no game. I’m terrible at approaching women, making small talk, flirting and raising the heat. But in a tasting environment or a bar in a nice restaurant where the banter is witty and low key, I definitely hold my own. And so it was with all the confidence in the world that I stepped up to the bar right in front of this pourer.

For story-telling purposes, I’ll leave out the wine pouring small talk and cut straight to the chase.

There were horses near the winery and one galloped into view. The pourer was wearing Wranglers, an aggie-style jean. I asked if she rode.
“No,” she said.

Okay, no problem, I’d try a different approach. Country music played softly on the radio, and I’m more of an alt-rock fan. Everyone has their preference. I asked the pourer what music she liked.
“Country,” she said. It figured. “And alt-rock.”

Ding-ding-ding!

I immediately told a funny story involving San Francisco’s infamous alt-rock radio station, the One and Only Live105.
“Live105,” she said. “Is that classic rock?”
Um, no.

So much for that tack. I looked for another approach. She was in great shape, lean and strong, so I figured sports and activity might be my in. I asked if she was a gymnast.
She brightened. “I used to be! Now I run marathons.”

Ding-ding-ding-ding-ding!

This time I had her, for sure. I’d run seven marathons in my day, before sore knees encouraged me to take up cycling. Turns out she’d run two, including Boston. That meant she’s fast, since you actually have to quality for Boston. She’d run the 26.2 miles in 3 hours and 12 minutes.
“Have you run Boston?” she asked.
“No,” I said. My marathon best was 3:29, and I needed a 3:15 to qualify. “Missed it by fourteen minutes.”

She raised her eyebrows, as if surprised I was slower than her. Whatever. Everyone’s different, and no two races are the same. That she was faster didn’t make me feel unmanly. But the conversation sputtered. She wasn’t giving me an inch, let alone opening up, and I resigned myself to having struck out.

As my buddy and I finished our last taste of wine, we chatted about the Tour de France. Cycling is one of my favorite sports. Turns out the pourer was just getting into cycling for triathlons. Wish I’d known that right off the bat. Oh well, We drained our glasses and left.

Outside, my buddy berated me for not getting her phone number.
“She deflected everything I tossed at her,” I said.
“You could have invited her cycling.”

Good point. But my flirtatious energy had been sapped, and I needed to gear up for another winery. After all, there were sure to be more singles at the next wine tasting bar.

If you liked this post, you might also enjoy:

• Supermarket Dating – Cure for the Common Online Date
• How to Marry a Millionaire
• Best Single Parent Family Vacations EVER
  
• Is the Dating Pool Really That Small?

© 2008 DadsHouseBlog.com. All rights reserved.

Del.icio.us | Digg it | Reddit | Stumble it | Subscribe to Dad’s House

Her ad last Tuesday was simple and direct:

Summer Romance - I’m 35, attractive and active, take good care of myself. I’m educated with a successful career. Looking for an intelligent, fit, emotionally healthy man, 35-45. Let’s meet for drinks tonight and see where things lead.

Summer romance with an attractive woman who wanted to meet tonight? Sounded perfect to me. It was already 8:45pm, and she’d posted at 8:30pm, so I had a real shot. Some women posting on Craigslist received 300 responses. For a guy to get picked, sending the first compelling reply was key. I emailed a note and a pic of my smiling face.

Hey – I like how you sound. I’m a SWM, early 40s, educated, in shape, nearby. Drinks tonight sounds great.

The best thing about Craigslist is its immediacy. Forget match.com and yahoo personals with their checkboxed descriptions of an ideal partner, prolonged emails, and lengthy search for the one. On Craigslist it was all about who wants to meet right now? Chemistry is felt in an instant in person, after all. The important thing is to meet.

Half an hour passed.

Surely she’d picked someone by now. If she was real. I’d been around the Craigslist block enough times to get burned more than once. But I’d also met some really great women – for coffee, drinks, hiking, cycling, dinner. I just figure you have to break some eggs to make an omelet. And if said omelet is made for two the morning after an evening date? I won’t complain.

She sent an email. Her pic was attractive. Her note was brief:

Looks good. Where do you live?

I know enough not to give personal details online to a stranger, so I side-step questions like that. The key was to meet, especially when her ad said tonight. She was looking for summer romance, not looking all summer for the perfect partner. I wrote right back.

I’m one town over. Are you in the mood for cocktails or wine?

Another five minutes passed, not a good sign. She might be considering a handful of guys. And why not? If she was out clubbing, she’d have an entire venue of men to flirt with. Finally she wrote and suggested we chat on Yahoo IM.

Her: hi!
Me: hey, how are you?
Her: I’m good. Getting a little late.

(Fair enough, she’d posted an hour before.)

Me: I live nearby. Let’s meet right now and chat over drinks.
Her: that would be fun, but I have to get up early.

(Granted, it was a weeknight. But she’s the one who’d posted looking for tonight.)

Me: you’ll be in bed early. It’s just a drink
Her: maybe you want more than that

(From summer romance to one-night-stand – maybe she was testing my intentions)

Me: no, just a drink to see if we click. Summer’s just getting started. Plenty of time for fun.
Her: good! But I really do have to get up early. Maybe tomorrow night?

(Sigh. I wouldn’t push. Best to play on her terms.)

Me: I would, but I already have dinner plans with a buddy. Sorry.
Her: no problem. How about Thursday?
Me: sure! That would be great.

We agreed to chat some more during the day on Thursday to iron out plans. Craigslist immediacy was being tossed out the window, but at least I had a date. With an attractive, educated, sexy woman, no less.

On Thursday I couldn’t wait for our evening date. Drinks with romance potential. This could turn into a very good summer, indeed. Too bad we hadn’t exchanged cell phone numbers, we could swap some flirty text messages or actually talk. I sent her email. The response was immediate:

From: MAILER-DAEMON@yahoo.com
Sorry, we were unable to deliver your message. That account has been deactivated.

Talk about simple and direct. Ah, Craigslist.

If you liked this post, you might also enjoy:

• Internet Dating - Sadly, I’m a Bit of an Expert
  
• Texting for Chemistry – Confessions of a Serial Online Dater, part 2
• A Sexy Flirty Dirty Text Message

© 2008 DadsHouseBlog.com. All rights reserved.

Del.icio.us | Digg it | Reddit | Stumble it | Subscribe to Dad’s House

More than one person commenting on my Calling All Matchmakers post said that men who cook, read, and try tantric sex are perceived by women as unmanly. One came right out and said those behaviors are gay. No offense to homosexuals, but a man perceived as gay is assumed to date men – not women. These readers suggested, if I want to date more women I need to take a more manly approach to life than preparing my own food, talking about books, and trying sexual positions beyond missionary.

Please tell me they’re in the minority.

Cooking - As a single dad with half-time custody of two kids, I wonder what my manly dinner options would be?

a) Restaurants and take-out every night
b) Grill steaks every night
c) Remarry quick! Let my built-in cook/housekeeper prepare the meals

Sorry, but I’ll take the unmanly approach of cooking. And I won’t be heating cans of chili or stew. I want good food and real recipes to fuel my marathon running and century bicycle riding and keep me healthy in general. (Maybe a beer gut would be more manly than my fit physique.) Aren’t there enough famous chefs on TV – Wolfgang Puck, Bobby Flay, Rick Bayless – that male cooking is mainstream?

Books – I know most men prefer techno-thrillers. But since when are men who read literary fiction and books on spirituality considered unmanly? Commentors mentioned SNAG as the real unmanly culprit – Sensitive New-Age Guys should be friends, not husbands or lovers. Last I checked, men have been reading for eons, both literary and spiritual stuff. Reading is not New-Agey. Maybe it’s the talking in the kitchen with any senstitivity about books, rather than grunting about sports on the backyard patio. Hey – if there’s a conversation about Serie-A or World-Cup soccer, I’m right in the mix. But I find American sports boring – overpaid crybaby athletes acting like boys. Who’s the unmanly one here?

Tantric sex – it’s ancient, not new-agey. The act of using sexual energy for transcendence and connecting with God is mentioned in the Old Testament, the Koran, and other spiritual texts. Countless celebrities have tried tantra, from Sting to Scarlett Johansson. I’m guessing anyone who summarily dismisses tantric sex as weird simply hasn’t tried it.

Destructive thought patterns are hard to break, especially when they are deeply rooted in our culture. There are characters in best-selling books (unmanly!) that perpetuate outdated stereotypes. Tom Perrotta takes a wack at single parents in The Abstinence Teacher, with a single-dad character incapable/not-allowed to raise his daughter, and a single mom whose only male friends are gay. There are plenty of other books and movies similarly stuck in the stone-age. With drivel like that, how can our culture evolve?

Cooking is sexy. Reading is sexy. Tantric sex is sexy. It’s the fast-food guzzling, sports blathering, selfish lover sorts of men who are unmanly.

If you liked this post, you might also enjoy:

• A New Earth - Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose
• A Creepy Writing Vibe
• How To Grill Asparagus
  

© 2008 DadsHouseBlog.com. All rights reserved.

Del.icio.us | Digg it | Reddit | Stumble it | Subscribe to Dad’s House

First, some news:

Dad’s House posts are now available as FULL feeds

(rather than summary), through Feedburner. This will no doubt delight multitudes of people who read blogs from feed readers and email programs rather than visiting this blog. The content is the same, but pushed to you rather than pulled by you. I sound nerdy. I used to be an engineer. Sorry. (And speaking of nerdy - I had to change some internal links to make the jump to full feeds. So if you see broken links, let me know.)

If you’d like to receive updates to Dad’s House content via RSS or email, click away…
Get Updates to Dad’s House via RSS - Or - Get Updates by Email

On to the main event!

The Dad’s House post today appears on Silicon Valley Moms Blog –

Calling All Matchmakers.

Offering a reminder to all the moms, dads, married folks, coupled folks, and anyone else who voyeuristically follows affairs of the heart: sometimes us single parents need some matchmaking help. Going on a date with a friend of a friend beats the hell out of match.com. Trust me.

I think you’ll like this matchmaking post. Come on over and comment. Bullhorns optional. (Whether you rip me like the first commentor did, or come to my support is entirely up to you… )

Now then, can someone please help me out of this glee-club sweater? I’m really not an argyle kind of guy.

© 2008 DadsHouseBlog.com. All rights reserved.

Del.icio.us | Digg it | Reddit | Stumble it | Subscribe to Dad’s House

With my kids on vacation, and given my dislike of online dating, you might wonder how I actually meet someone new. Here are some ways to say hello to a stranger.

1. I couldn’t help noticing you, and I wanted to say hello – when I first heard this, I thought it was the cheesiest pick-up line ever. But a former girlfriend of mine told me it actually worked on her, as long as it sounded heartfelt. And she’s right! It’s worked plenty for me. Use this in a bar or coffee house. Anyplace where you catch eyes with someone across the room.

2. You ladies look like you’re having fun – use this when you approach a group of women. It doesn’t matter what they’re doing; if they’re out together, chances are at least one of them will want to meet a man. And believe me, if there’s only one at the table who is available, if you’re a quality guy the others will let you know who she is. The great thing about this line is it doesn’t commit you to any one woman. It’s flattering to all of them and gets them all involved in the conversation.

3. Good book? – perfect for a coffee house, the park, or the beach. That is, if you can find someone reading. A lot of times people are staring at laptops, cell phones, and blackberries, texting away. But if you do find someone with a book, it’s a good start. If you haven’t heard of the book, ask them about it. Or ask them for other titles they’ve liked. An alternative to try with someone who is texting: nice text message? (Ha! Leave those tech gadgets at home!)

4. Have you been here before? – (or the cheesy counterpart, Come here often?) This is great when you’re in line, or at the bar, waiting to order. I used this line to hit on a woman in front of my son, and it works. What do you like here? is an easy follow-up. DO NOT ask What’s good, or What do you recommend, because those questions force the person to offer their opinion as a critic. No one wants to give bad advice. Telling you what they like tells you something about them, and that’s flattering already.

5. Hi, I’m David – just saying Hi and giving your name can actually work if you’ve made some eye contact, and there’s an obvious charge. I saw this in the film American Gangster when Denzel Washington meets Miss Puerto Rico. Whether art imitates life, or life imitates art, doesn’t matter – they’re one in the same.

For the single parent in the park or at the beach, say ANYTHING about the kids. For instance:

1. Which one’s yours? – you learn a lot by their response. The rascally boy (she likes a man who isn’t tame), or Miss Never Wants to Get Dirty (her own life is too tame, and she wants some action)

2. Cute kid! – complimenting a parent on their child is an instant winner

3. Can we pet your dog? - getting your kid to pet their dog allows you two adults to talk

Now put yourself out there wherever singles hang out.

Smile. Be noticed. Say hello.

If you liked this post, you might also enjoy:

• How to Pick-Up a Woman in Front of Your Son
• Supermarket Dating - Cure for the Common Online Date
• The Apple Store - Best Place for Singles to Meet?
  

© 2008 DadsHouseBlog.com. All rights reserved.

Del.icio.us |   Digg it |   Reddit |   Stumble it |   Subscribe to Dad’s House

My kids left on vacation Friday with their mom, and I’ll be a lone wolf for three weeks. Full-time parents might cheer that break. But if you’re a single parent sharing custody, like me, chances are you’d rather have the kids around. Time spent with children is precious; they grow up quick.

Their mom and I alternate summers for taking them on big vacations. Here’s how I’ve dealt with summer alone-time before.

• Newly divorced – the first time they took off with their mom, I dated like CRAZY. I had just discovered internet dating and thought it was manna from heaven. Interestingly enough, the two relationships I entered that summer were from someone I met at a wedding, and someone I was set up with by friends. (So much for online dating, eh?)

• Two years after divorce – I had just broken up with a girlfriend, and friends were still conflicted about my divorce: they hadn’t taken sides between me and my ex, and they ended up leaving us both a bit out to pasture to fend for ourselves. With my kids gone, I was LONELY (and depressed). Like any good single, I fled to Club Med for a week of drinking and hooking up (in my case, with a gorgeous and sexy Cuban woman, who made fun of my salsa dancing skills, but otherwise liked me).

But debauchery only carries you so far. At some point, I hit rock bottom. No friends to hang out with, no kids to take care of, no girlfriend to smooch. Like Elizabeth Gilbert in Eat, Pray, Love, I was wondering what’s the point of this thing called life. Let’s just say, since then I changed a lot. That summer was cathartic, and I’ve gone on to write two novels about the spiritual, emotional, psychological, and social shifts that arise from divorce and single parenting.

• Four years after divorce – by this point I had a completely different set of friends, ones who were more accepting and supportive of me being a single dad and single man. We enjoy yachting, and we sailed the British Virgin Islands together for a week, sleeping on the boat, listening to reggae, and drinking way too many Bushwackers. I also hung out with good friends in Manhattan, running in Central Park, dining in fabulous restaurants, and sighting celebrities. (Celebs I’ve seen up-close in NYC over the years: Marisa Tomei, James Iha from Smashing Pumpkins, Toby Maguire filming Spiderman 3, Dustin Hoffman, Scarlett Johansson (I wish))

• Six years after divorce – I finally accepted the fact that I can’t force the outcome of my future. I went with the flow and dated four women at once. Rock concerts, wine tasting, weekend road trips, a lot of cycling. Fun times, for sure.

Which brings me to now. I have no plan. Even though I’m faced with three weeks alone, I’m not too concerned. I won’t throw myself into online dating, or rush off on a singles holiday. I’ll just take each day as it comes and see what enters my life. No expectations, but open to possibilities.

Sometimes a lone wolf just needs to howl.

If you liked this post, you might also enjoy:

• Single Parent, Empty House, Full Life
• What Does a Divorced Single Parent Know About Successful Relationships?
• San Francisco Fireworks of Another Kind (Dad’s House post on Silicon Valley Moms Blog)
  

© 2008 DadsHouseBlog.com. All rights reserved.

Del.icio.us | Digg it | Furl | Reddit | Stumble it | Yahoo My Web 2

My son and I were eating at the bar in our favorite Mexican restaurant. The owners are fine with that on slow nights - tons of people eat at that counter solo - and we’ve done it before. Without my daughter along we thought we’d keep it manly and casual. Plus, there was a TV. Always an attraction for a twelve-year-old.

A woman sat down two seats away from me, along with two young kids and a man. Damn, a family, and she was hot. Slim, cute, sexy, olive skin, nice smile. Her husband was the luckiest guy in the room. But then she ordered a beer, and the man and kids left, and I realized she was alone.

Women NEVER eat out alone in Silicon Valley.

I worried it might be awkward talking to her with my son there, but what choice did I have? Chances like this come along once every couple of years (so it seems.) I absolutely had to chat this woman up. Besides, kids are sort of chick magnets.

I asked her if she’d eaten at the restaurant before. A fair question, since we eat there a lot and I didn’t recognize her. Plus, she hadn’t ordered a margarita. Everyone orders a margarita here. This restaurant makes the best ones in town. (La Llorona is my fave.)

She was friendly, and we started to chat. Turns out she was in town visiting from Colorado on business. Her smile was killing me, and I couldn’t see if she had a ring or not. I introduced my son, and he seemed a tad embarrassed, then went back to watching the ballgame on TV.

I felt conflicted – I should bond father/son style. But WTF. If there was a chance with this woman, I had to take it.

A group of guys came into the bar and one totally started hitting on her. She gave him the cold shoulder and changed seats to be right next to me. I was in heaven! (My son smiled. He knew I was pleased.)

We talked while we ate. She explained the meaning of my margarita’s name (La Llorona – the crying woman. Which I knew from reading Women Who Run With the Wolves, but I was impressed with her latina knowledge.)

My son was fairly quiet, but when I brought him into the conversation by having him brag about playing lacrosse or trumpet, he perked up. He’s extremely social, and has no problem talking to adults or girls. He did great.

I finally saw a flash of bling on her finger. Damn! Talk about mood killer, I know I should have looked beforehand. But she had her hand in her lap the whole time, and scoping out a ring would have been so obvious. Plus, sometimes women wear rings when they aren’t married, to ward off men. (Just as sometimes men don’t wear rings when they should.)

I’m pretty direct, so I asked if there’s a lucky guy in her life. Yep, she’s married. But she said she was totally flattered that I hit on her. She ordered a margarita to match mine (La Llorona!), and was bummed when my son and I needed to leave before her drink was done. We exchanged biz cards because she has a girlfriend (in Colorado) to set me up with.

As soon as we left, I talked to my son about what went down. I apologized for chatting so much with someone else, but explained there aren’t that many single women in Silicon Valley, at least not ones who put themselves out there. (I’m convinced they all hide out in the Googleplex.) I explained that when a beautiful woman sits down next to you, you don’t hesitate, you do whatever it takes to start up a conversation. He understood. He got it.

He’s not shy, he’ll be fine with the ladies when it’s time. But I feel it was good for him to watch me interact with this woman. My parents are still married, so I never got to see my old man in action. My son saw me stick my neck out with a woman, strike out, and still hold my head high.

In other words, he saw what it’s like to be a man.

If you liked this post, you might also enjoy:

• Salsa Dancing - Hot Latin Nights
• Is the Dating Pool Really That Small?
• How to Grill Asparagus (pick-up potential here)
  
• Birds, Bees, and Axe Body Spray
• How to Start Dating a Single Dad

© 2008 DadsHouseBlog.com. All rights reserved.

Del.icio.us | Digg it | Furl | Reddit | Stumble it | Yahoo My Web 2