Dad’s House

Dating & Parenting by a Single Dad

Cooking Tasty Vegan Recipes from Scratch

David Mott is on vacation this week, and Dad’s House has been taken over by some great guest bloggers. Ending the week, Honey from HoneyAndLance.com heads into the kitchen…

cute girl cooking tasty vegan recipes from scratchWe go out to eat, or buy takeout, or get pre-prepared (kind of redundant, eh?) food so often these days that the idea of cooking something from scratch makes people raise their eyebrows a little. However, it really shouldn’t! Pre-made food from the grocery store typically has way too many of one (or more) of the following: calories, fat, sugar, salt. And it’s tough to say which of these things is worse, as they all contribute to serious health problems, especially if they’re all someone eats from an early age.

If you want to eat healthy yourself, as well as save your kids from a life of obesity, diabetes, and hypertension, then cooking from scratch is one of the best ways to do it. Keep your eyes peeled for reruns of an excellent TLC show called Honey, We’re Killing the Kids! if you don’t believe me.

Tons of people have already heard that involving your kids in the cooking process is one of the best ways to make sure that they eat what you make. With that in mind whatever you make has got to be easy—then you can not only involve younger children, but also so that you can concentrate on conversation to help make the experience fun for everyone.

What you may not know is that being vegan is not only an extremely healthy lifestyle, but also the single biggest contribution you can make towards saving the environment. A vegan who drives a Hummer contributes less greenhouse gas than a meat-eater who drives a hybrid.

So cooking these types of foods is a way to have conversations not only about healthy eating habits, but instilling your children with a desire to prevent animal cruelty and pollution. With that in mind, two of my favorite recipes, a main dish and a salad—both vegan and both super, super easy. My boyfriend and I have been making these together incessantly since it’s over 110 degrees in Phoenix in the summer.

Main Dish: Smoky Baked Tofu

I wish I could take the credit for this one, but it actually is a recipe that I stole from a friend. This doesn’t take much effort, but does require two days of preparation, since the tofu needs to marinade for 24 hours.

2 lbs. tofu, sliced into “steaks” about a half-inch thick
3/4 cup balsamic vinegar
1/2 cup soy sauce
1/4 cup olive oil
1 tbsp. liquid smoke
1/2 tsp. onion powder
1/2 tsp. garlic powder
1/8 tsp. white pepper

Whisk together all the ingredients (except tofu) and pour into a flat bottom pan. The pan should be big enough to hold the tofu, but not so big that the liquid doesn’t cover the tofu. Submerge tofu in liquid, cover, and marinate in the fridge overnight. The next day, lay tofu out on a cookie sheet and bake at 350 for 15-20 minutes on each side. Let cool and enjoy in a wrap—it’s delicious with vegan sour cream and fresh basil.

Side Salad: Canned Summertime

This I picked up in a magazine somewhere, but have made so many adaptations over time that I consider it my own. It’s best chilled. If you make it while the oven’s preheating and put it in the fridge when the tofu goes in the oven, it should be nice by the time dinner’s ready.

3 tbsp. olive oil
3 tbsp. lime juice
3 tbsp. Tabasco sauce
1 15-ounce can black beans
1 15-ounce can garbanzo beans
1 15-ounce can sweet corn (kernels)
Fresh basil (for garnish and color)
Salt & pepper (to taste)

Whisk the olive oil, lime juice, and Tabasco sauce in a medium-sized glass mixing bowl. Drain the cans of black beans (rinse these as well), garbanzo beans, and sweet corn, and mix into the vinaigrette mixture. You can add more of the olive oil, lime juice, or Tabasco sauce to taste at this point, as well as add some salt and pepper. Be careful if you have smaller children that it’s not too spicy. Cover with tin foil and put in the fridge for about an hour. Chop the fresh basil and add it on top as a garnish when served.

These dishes are not only super easy to make, they’re very filling without making you feel heavy afterwards. Make them with your kids (or a date!) tonight.

© 2008 HoneyAndLance.com. All rights reserved. Published by DadsHouseBlog.com with permission from the author.

July 18, 2008 Posted by dadshouse | children, family, food recipes, recipes | , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Single Mom Seeking Shares a Child’s View on Dating and Partnership

David Mott is on vacation this week, but he left the keys to Dad’s House with some fabulous guest bloggers. Today, Single Mom Seeking’s Rachel Sarah visits the kid’s room…

teddy bear holding heart, single mom seeking shares child's view of dating and partnershipIf my kid had it her way, I’d never have a boyfriend. I’d never go on another date.

My daughter was seven months old when her father walked out and I became a single mom. At that point, I thought my life was over. At age 28, I’d concluded that men were the antagonists.

Well, that didn’t last long. One year later — when my ex clearly wasn’t returning from his European adventure — I was back in the game.

Dating with a toddler was easy-peasy. But as Dad’s House knows, as you get savvier, so do your kids. Also, since it’s just the two of us, Mae and I have quite a super-glue bond.

The last time I went on a date, eight-year-old Mae wanted to know:

  • “Where are you going?”
  • “Who are you going with?”

I hope that she’ll be honest with me when she’s a teen, like David’s kids. So, I try to model openness.

Me: “I’m going to out for dinner with a friend.”

Mae: “Which friend?”

Me: “His name is Mark–”

Mae: “How do know him?”

You get the picture.

This year in school, Mae’s teacher led a whole course in poetry, and Mae’s favorite style was haiku. If she was going to write a haiku about our future, I think it would go like this:

Mom, don’t get married
Our family is perfect
Just the way it is

Still, I never imagined my life like this. I was sure that I’d be deep into a long-term relationship by now. I’m turning 36 this month (July). I probably won’t have any more kids. But will I ever have a real partner?

The longer I do this — single parenting — the easier it gets. While I haven’t given up finding some strapping, easygoing, here’s-a-love-note-in-your-pocket kind of man, I’m not sure if I want to add a man to our little duo. Maybe my kid is right. Maybe our little family is perfect.

Maybe I just want a man after dark.

Let’s hear from you…. Do see marriage in your future? Or, do you simply want someone after hours?

Rachel Sarah
http://www.singlemomseeking.com/blog

Author of Single Mom Seeking: Play Dates, Blind Dates, and Other Dispatches from the Dating World (2007, Seal Press/Avalon).

© 2008 SingleMomSeeking.com. All rights reserved. Published by DadsHouseBlog.com with permission from the author.

July 14, 2008 Posted by dadshouse | children, dating, family, relationships, sex, single dads, single moms, single parents | , , | 22 Comments

While Dad is Away, Guest Bloggers Will Play

Southern California big waveMy kids are back from vacationing with their mom, so I am no longer a lone wolf. It was a great three weeks running solo. Some highlights:

And with my kids here, we are promptly leaving for one of the best single parent vacations ever – to a SoCal beach house with my brother and his wife and kids. Woohoo!

While I’m gone next week, I’m leaving the keys to Dad’s House with some fabulous guest bloggers who I respect and adore. They each plan to take over a part of the house. You won’t want to miss it! Drop on by, weigh in with comments, visit their blogs, watch your karma grow.

And meanwhile, I’ll be hitting the beach with my kids and niece and nephew, sipping sunset cocktails with my brother and his wife. Can’t wait!

Hasta la vista, baby!

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July 11, 2008 Posted by dadshouse | family, life, parenting, relationships, single dads, single parents, vacation | , | 8 Comments

Auto Insurance is Double for Teens of Divorced Single Parents

Classic convertible car black, auto insurance double for teens of divorced parentsMy sixteen-year-old daughter recently got her driver license, and I added her to my auto insurance policy. Despite her being a girl, getting good grades, driving only occasionally - her rate is through the roof, as it would be for any first-time driver.

At least I can split the cost with her mom. Right?

Wrong!

Insurance companies in California insure a driver for a specific car. They rated my daughter for my vehicle, but they won’t insure her if she drives her mom’s car. On the surface, that seems reasonable. We’re a two-home family and my daughter spends equal time with me and her mom. Two homes, two cars, two insurance policies.

Since she only lives with me half time, I should pay half as much to insure her. Right?

Wrong!

The insurance company explained it this way: your daughter has 24/7 access to your vehicle, so we need to insure her on it 24/7.

What a load of crap. My daughter only lives with me half time, and I only have one car. She has access less than half the time. Compared to other teens, that’s less than half as much chance for her to get into an accident in my car.

In a traditional (non-divorced) home with multiple cars, the teen gets rated for primarily driving one of the vehicles. However - if that car isn’t available, the teen is allowed to drive a secondary vehicle in the household, and they will be insured.

So, my ex-wife’s car be considered a secondary vehicle. Right?

Wrong!

The insurance company wants nothing to do with my ex-wife’s car. Unless… if my ex-wife moves her auto policy so we’re both insured by the same company, then they will create a policy that covers my daughter on both cars, without charging us double.

Sounds to me like single parents are being discriminated against by the insurance industry. Unless we’re willing to shill and sell an auto policy to our ex.

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July 9, 2008 Posted by dadshouse | divorced parent concerns, family, parenting, single dads, single moms, single parent concerns, single parents | , , , , , , | 19 Comments

Tour de France Autographs

Amgen Tour of California cycling race San Luis Obispo finishWhen Tour de France cyclists rolled through California the past two years, my kids and I were there to watch, snapping photos and grabbing autographs from international cycling greats. We caught a couple stage finishes in San Luis Obispo (one in the rain) and a time trial in Solvang. And this year in Palo Alto, I actually rode with Team CSC’s Big Jens Voigt. (Okay, so he was on a training ride and I happened to be there, and barely kept pace with him for 200 yards. Whatever – I rode with him!)

As for the autographs – the cyclists were dining en masse in San Luis Obispo at the Madonna Inn. My son hovered near the dining room entrance and scored signatures from the argyle armada Team Slipstream riders Danny Pate and Steven Cozza. Then a woman involved with the race asked if he wanted to meet other cyclists. “Yeah,” he said. She led him into the dining room. We can almost make out all the names.

Levi Leipheimer autograph, George Hincapie, Jens Voigt, Stewart O'Grady, Danny Pate, Christian Vande Velde, Steve Cozza, Antonio Cruz, Ivan Basso, Luke Roberts, Team CSC, Team Slipstream, Team Discovery

cycling napkin names

If anyone can figure out some of those autographs, feel free to chime in. Possible candidates: Ivan Basso, Tommy Danielson, Allan Davis, Jason McCartney, Brian Vandborg, Johan Bruyneel

First, my son met Team Discovery, the former US Postal Team that supported Lance Armstrong through 7 Tour de France wins. There was Levi Leipheimer, George Hincapie, Ivan Basso, and the rest eating dinner together. (Team Discovery has since disbanded, and the cyclists ride for teams like Team Astana, Team High Road (now Team Columbia), and the Argyle Armada - the former Team Slipstream, now Garmin-Chipotle.)

My son told them about his BMX trick bike with pegs. They asked if he had a road bike like ones they road, and he told them, “No, but my dad does.”

When a table full of international cyclists give their nods of approval, definitely Dad points scored.

“Does your dad race?” they asked.
“Nah,” my son said. “I think he’s pretty slow.”
Ouch.

He went on to meet members of Team CSC, including Jens Voigt (my aforementioned riding partner), Stuart O’Grady, and Christian Van de Velde. Everyone was super nice to my son, not only signing autographs but chatting him up in the process.

The great thing for cycling fans at Tour events is sitting right on the edge of the road. Here are photos from the 2007 Amgen Tour of California Solvang time trial.

Rabobank Mauricio Alberto Ardila Cano in Solvang time trial
Rabobank’s Mauricio Alberto Ardila Cano

Team Slipstream Tour de France cyclist Danny Pate riding for the Argyle Armada in Solvang time trial, Tour of California
Team Slipstream cyclist Danny Pate riding for the Argyle Armada

Nacho Libre at Tour of California Solvang time trial
Hey, it’s Nacho Libre!

Team CSC Jens Voigt in Tour of California Solvang time trial
Team CSC cyclist Big Jens Voigt

Fast Freddie Rodriguez in Tour of California Solvang Time trial
Fast Freddie Rodriguez

Winged helmet cycling fan at Tour of California Solvang time trial
Love the winged helmet and huge American flag

Tour de France cyclist Stuart O'Grady from Team CSC at Tour of California Solvang time trial
Stuart O’Grady from Team CSC

Levi Leipheimer en route to winning Tour of California Solvang time trial
Levi Leipheimer en route to winning the Tour of California. (Sadly, Levi and Team Astana aren’t allowed to ride in this year’s Tour de France, through no fault of his own)

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July 5, 2008 Posted by dadshouse | cycling, family, life, single dads | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

How to Cook the Best Grilled Salmon

Grilled salmon best recipe simpleGrilled salmon is a treat, and it’s simple to cook. My technique is based on a recipe from one of my favorite cookbooks. And with the holiday weekend approaching, I figured it’s time to pull out this story from the family archives…

On Christmas a few years ago, my brother gave me a fabulous gift – a cookbook called The Best Recipe, by the editors of Cook’s Illustrated. They have a test kitchen where they try every method they can think of to cook different foods. And this cookbook tells all – what worked, what didn’t, and what’s best to do.

“Wow,” I said when I unwrapped it. “This is great.”
“It’s awesome,” my brother. “We use it all the time. We figured as a single dad, you might really enjoy it.”

I smiled and nodded, wondering what to do. This was a cook book I already had. Should I tell them? Or return it without saying a word?

“Read the inscription,” my brother said

To David – Buon Appetit! Love xox etc.

Ouch. “Nice,” I said.
But I must have grimaced, because they asked “What’s wrong?”
“I already have this book.”

Sighs all around. Then my brother took it back, opened it to the inscription, and scribbled with a pen. He handed it back. “How’s that?” he asked.

To Dad!! – Buon Appetit! Love xox etc.

“Perfect!” I said.

Our dad was very happy for the gift. And that’s what it means to be a family. (All except me blabbing it in my blog to the world…)

RECIPE

Start with salmon fillets (not salmon steaks), 6-8 oz. per person
Try to get fillets that are uniform thickness so no part cooks too quick
Sprinkle with salt and pepper
Place skin side down on medium-high heated grill
Cook 4 min. or so until top no longer looks raw – don’t over-cook! Skin should pull away a bit
Flip and cook 2-3 minutes more – cutting into the center should look translucent for medium rare
Peel off the skin
Serve on platter with the salt/pepper side up – it looks nicer that way!

Happy 4th. Merry Christmas. Jolly Whatever You’re Celebrating Today.

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July 3, 2008 Posted by dadshouse | family, food recipes, home, life, recipes, single dads | , , , , , , | 10 Comments

How to Talk to Your Daughter About Sex

Pregnant teenage girl like Gloucester High teens in pregnancy pactThis advice comes about nine months too late for the Gloucester High teenage girls with the pregnancy pact, but there’s been enough reaction to what they did that I figured some prevention talk was in order.

As a single dad with a teenage daughter, I have first-hand experience in giving the talk to a girl. I told my daughter about the birds and bees in explicit detail when she was eleven and heading into sixth grade. This in response to news that local 6th-8th grade boys were persuading girls to perform oral sex on them in the school bathroom.

My daughter and I talked for an hour. I wasn’t nervous, I remained calm and spoke openly. My candor eased her into having a real conversation with me.

1. Biology – I explained the reproductive system of men and women, building on whatever knowledge the school had given her. I asked leading questions to see what she knew, then wove in new information. I described intercourse. (I didn’t get into YouTube - Gorilla Sex, Crazy Monkey Sex crazy monkey sex. I’ll leave that to Honey and Lance.)

2. Love – we talked about falling in love, getting married, caring unconditionally for another person, and how sex can enhance all that. Without getting into tantric sex, I explained that great sex can feel spiritual.

3. Enjoyment – sex feels good. If it didn’t, no one would procreate.

4. Entertainment – it’s possible to have sex for entertainment and fun, without being in love, and a lot of people do just that. It really helped having a visual aid for my daughter. I showed her the book Unhooked: How Young Women Pursue Sex, Delay Love and Lose at Both, and explained how hooking up and sex without attachment leads to empty feelings, not to mention the risk of disease.

5. STDs – some sexually transmitted diseases are passed through an exchange of fluids, and others from skin-to-skin contact. Safe sex, including condoms, is a must.

6. Peer pressure – we talked about how some people go along with the group, even if the choice is wrong. Locally, girls were told they had to give blowjobs if they wanted to hang out with the cool boys. Some were even promised the status of girlfriend. This gave the girls a sense of self-esteem that maybe they weren’t getting at school or at home. Problem was, the next day some of the boys turned a cold shoulder and moved on to their next conquest.

7. Oral – the boys in our local community were telling girls “it’s only a kiss, just not on the mouth.” So, yes, I explained to my daughter how oral sex is peformed. She was kind of grossed out (what eleven year old wouldn’t be?)

8. Parenting – I reminded her that having a kid changes the course of the rest of your life. Parenting is hugely rewarding, but also a giant responsibility. Let pregnancy happen when she’s ready for everything that goes with it.

My daughter asked great questions – Does it hurt? How old was I when I became sexually active? She called her aunt the next day with well-thought follow-ups.

The fact that I’m divorced and dating helped me relate. It also meant I felt a little awkward at times – like any normal adult, I usually have sex just for fun. Sometimes that’s with a Friend-With-Benefits or booty-call partner who I’m not in love with.

But I kept all the awkward feelings to myself. It was more important to arm my daughter with knowledge, and empower her to feel good about herself, enjoy sex when she’s ready, and become a mother on her own good time.

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July 2, 2008 Posted by dadshouse | family, hookups, life, parenting, sex, single dads, single moms, single parents | , , , , , , , , , | 21 Comments

Sex, Love, Marriage, Birth – Quick! Pick a Baby Name

Boy dressed up like king or czar Nicholas

Two little lovers
Sitting in a tree
K-I-S-S-I-N-G

First comes love
Then comes marriage
Then comes baby in a baby carriage

Doesn’t always happen quite like that, but every new baby needs a name. And when the name picking happens in a stressful delivery room, well, … there lies the story.

Today on Silicon Valley Moms Blog, the topic is Birth/Adoption Stories. Writers from all the sister sites will share something in that vein. Does me being a man who has never been pregnant keep me from participating? No way.

My post today: Sex, Love, Marriage, Birth – Quick! Pick a Baby Name.

Last time I posted on SV Moms (Calling All Matchmakers), I took a beating in comments, getting called all sorts of names. It was truly a blood bath. But here I am, back for more.

Dad’s House readers are always welcome at the Moms. Come on over and leave your mark.

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July 1, 2008 Posted by dadshouse | family, life, parenting | , , , | 11 Comments

Best Single Parent Family Vacations EVER

Santa Barbara vacation home sunset

Summer’s in full swing. Friends and family are taking trips, my kids are on vacation with their mom, making me a lone wolf reminiscing back to my best family vacations ever.

1. Santa Barbara Beach Vacation - my younger brother and I rented a house in Santa Barbara last year for our two families to enjoy for a week. The backyard had two decks, a hot tub, ping-pong table, BBQ grill, and a magnificent view of the Pacific Ocean. My kids were great baby-sitters for their toddler cousins, my brother and I cooked, and his wife enjoyed 7 days of relaxation. Our dinners were based on a food pyramid featuring cocktails at the base. (Martinis tonight? Let’s have steak! Sangria? Let’s make paella.) Two days after we returned home, my sister-in-law called to ask where we’d be going in summer 2008. (I’ll blog the answer to that in a few weeks.)

Vacation in Virginia with horseback riding2. Virginia Farm Vacation - my older brother and his wife lived on a 200 acre farm in Virginia horse country. Talk about summer camp! My kids rode horses, played with three dogs, swam and fished in a pond, drove the tractor, swung on giant rope swings, collected eggs from the chickens, picked corn, shoveled horse shit in the stable. My kids were in heaven! (Not for the horse shit, but for the collective experience.) We also stole time in Charlottesville, walking the mall, strolling UVA (Wahoo-Wa), wine tasting, visiting Thomas Jefferson’s Monticello home. My brother makes a mean mint julep, btw.

Vacation Maui Hawaii Hana road rocky coast black sand beach3. Maui – Hawaii is great, and Maui is extremely family friendly. We had a blast! A lot of my friends take their families to the Grand Wailea, but we prefer the condo approach. We had funning hitting beaches like Kaanapali, swimming with sea turtles, exploring the Hana coast including its waterfalls and sea caves, watching a sunset from the top of a Volcano. Couldn’t have done all that while sitting by a fancy pool. We also went to the Big Island and took ranger hikes around the volcano, with a night-time visit to the active lava flows. It was unreal! Fires everywhere, streams of lava heading to the sea. We literally stood 3 feet from hot lava. Amazing!

Vacation camping Sequoia National Park, Grant Grove, General Sherman tree, California redwoods, tent4. Camping in Sequoia National Park – my kids and I like to car camp. We drive into a site, pitch the tent, get out our beach chairs, and while I sit relaxing, reading a book, my kids chop wood for the fire. (Give a kid an axe and some wood, and he/she can happily chop for hours.) We didn’t just sit around, of course - we did a ton of hikes, saw the General Grant and General Sherman trees, and generally explored nature. Smores and a roaring campfire made every night good.

Vacation Boston Common swan boat, Freedom Trail5. Boston – on an east coast visit where we toured from New England through Manhattan and Philly to Virginia, Boston was our favorite stop. The city is walkable, with tons of interesting sites, especially the Freedom Trail. We saw the Old North Church, ate in the Italian North End, strolled The Commons, hung out near Harvard, rode the T (the subway). A highlight, for us, was hanging out for two hours in a North End café, watching World Cup soccer. Forza azzurri!

Looking forward to my kids getting back for my vacation with them this summer!

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June 30, 2008 Posted by dadshouse | children, family, life, parenting, single dads, single moms, single parents, travel, vacation | , , , , , , , , , | 13 Comments

A New Earth – Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose

Green butterfly awakening to life's purpose on blue of a new earthIf you’re like everyone else and his brother (or you’re a 2008 Stanford grad), you know all about Oprah’s book club selection earlier this year of Eckhart Tolle’s best-seller, A New Earth – Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose. But if you’re the bastard second cousin who just says no to Ms. Winfrey’s literary recommendations or TV show, perhaps I can fill you in.

A New Earth is Tolle’s follow-up to The Power of Now. His essential premise is that the ego-based thinking most people do – you know, the part of you that wants this, hates that, needs something else to happen before you’ll be happy – is a dysfunctional way to live. Rather than dwelling on past and future events and resisting the present moment, you’ll best find peace and happiness through living in the now, the current moment. Being present.

What on earth does this have to do with parenting and dating? A lot.

If you’re pissed off about your circumstance – being a single parent, being divorced, lacking a relationship, enduring online dating, lacking booty, lacking intimacy, having a sexy moment interrupted by kids, feeling your opinions attacked, whatever it is – and you’re wanting, craving, lashing out, demanding change, then you’re stuck in thought and missing out on the simple joy of Being.

As Tolle writes, The joy of Being, which is the only true happiness, cannot come to you through any form, possession, achievement, person, or event - through anything that happens. That joy cannot come to you - ever. It emanates from the formless dimension within you, from consciousness itself and thus is one with who you are.

This doesn’t mean your situation won’t or can’t get better. It just means for right now, life is what it is. You exist. Why not enjoy it? Stop minding so much.

There are tons of books on learning to live a heartfelt life. What I like about A New Earth is Tolle’s mix of philosophy and straight-forward advice. For instance, he suggests when a parent is with a child, if the parent can be alert, still, completely present, not wanting anything other than that moment as it is – then you make room for Being. You stop being a father or mother, and you become Presence, beyond form, the timeless I Am. When the basis for your actions is inner alignment with the present moment, your actions become empowered by the intelligence of Life itself. Applied here, it sounds like a prescription for getting along with and loving your kids.

These concepts may be heady stuff for anyone who hasn’t delved into spirituality, especially Eastern modes of thought. But Tolle breaks it down further, suggesting there are three modes to help you enter life through the present moment, and align your life with the creative power of the universe.

  • Acceptance – accept life as it is. Don’t assign blame. This doesn’t mean things can’t or won’t change for the better. It simply encourages a stillness to emerge. That peace is consciousness. Consciousness is your own responsibility, and it’s the first step toward self awareness.
  • Enjoyment – enjoy what you’re doing. Don’t wait for something joyful to happen. You don’t need an event to occur. Joy is an aspect of Being. Infuse your activities with joy. It comes from within you. Allow yourself to feel that deep sense of aliveness.
  • Enthusiasm – this is joy directed toward a goal. You’ll feel intensity and energy behind what you do. That’s the universal spirit. If the goal becomes more important than enjoying what you are doing, you’ll feel stress.

Things, emotions, thoughts, struggles – these come into our lives, seem all-important for a time, then disappear, dissolving back into the nothing-ness from which they arose. Resistance is futile and leads to intense unhappiness. Non-resistence brings freedom.

So - got a pile of dishes to do and no spouse to do it for you? Don’t bemoan your lack of a partner, or the present mess. Accept that you’re on your own right now. Enjoy the act of creating a clean and healthy environment for you and your kids.

Friday night and no date? Embrace it. Pay attention to sites, smells, sounds around you. Maybe you’ll read a good book, hit a coffee house, have fun at a bar, meet someone new at the supermarket. You won’t do any of those if you’re sulking, angry at the past, wanting a different future.

Cranky kids got you down? Acknowledge they are young, immature, childish. Be happy and grateful they are exploring their lives and surroundings, discovering their feelings, dealing with emotions, whatever it is. They are living. You are present.

I can’t possibly boil down Tolle’s book into a single blog post, but hopefully I’ve given a fair overview. It’s definitely a good read. And on that note, it’s time to get off my new-age soap box. Dad’s House will now return to non-Oprah programming.

(Is texting an ex for booty okay if it’s done with joy and enthusiasm?)

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June 18, 2008 Posted by dadshouse | books, dating, family, life, parenting, relationships, single dads, single moms, single parents | , , , , , , , | 14 Comments