Dad's House » movies

GI Joe Movie ROCKS!

dadshouse — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 10:01:32 +0000

Got a 13-year-old boy? Take him to see the movie G.I. Joe, the Rise of Cobra. This movie rocks! It’s the number one movie in the world for a reason. There’s plenty of action. Tons of gadgets. Curvy women. (And for the ladies – chiseled men.) It’s a true summer blockbuster.

The plot is solid – a special unit of G.I. Joe soldiers (with Dennis Quaid as their kick-ass general!) has to save the world from some evil crazy guy.

The Joes go everywhere – into the desert, under the ocean, out into the snow. And they go in style, with robotic suits and special vehicles that make them run, jump, swim, fly, whatever! – faster and stronger than can be believed.

The film’s creators certainly did their homework. In practically every scene involving high tech gadgetry and weapons, I sat there thinking “this is exactly how I would have play-acted this out with my own G.I. Joes when I was a boy!”

Yeah, the movie was extreme in a pumped up on Kool-Aid and adrenaline sort of way. Perfect for a summer blockbuster.

There were a mix of men in the movie, from skinny martial arts experts, to super smart scientists, to buffed out strong guys. Plenty of diversity (in a summer blockbuster sort of way.) The lead GI Joe has a scar on his cheek, just like the doll. Another has amazing kung fu grip!

As for women in the film, there were really only two: both were super fit and athletic, wearing amazing kevlar suits that protected every curve. The women fought like bad-asses (same as the men.) They were also smart and talented, experts at everything they did. There was one plot point that hinged on a woman’s emotions, which I felt played to stereotypes. And the fact both women were built like Amazons was a little stereotypical, too. (A different stereotype than Tour de France podium girls, I suppose.) All in all, men and women both kicked ass in this movie.

For the record, before taking my son to the movies, I let him choose between G.I. Joe, or 500 Days of Summer.

For a father-son night at the movies, he made a great choice!

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Scarlett Johansson in a Sexy Threesome

dadshouse — Sun, 08 Jun 2008 19:02:05 +0000

Want to grab a single dad’s undivided attention? Put Scarlett Johansson in a sexy threesome with Penelope Cruz. It doesn’t matter who the third wheel is – single dads and single men the world over will fantasize themselves in the role.

I’m guessing Woody Allen knew that when he filmed the sexy sirens in a threesome for his new movie,Vicky Christina Barcelona, which premiered at Cannes this year. When reporters asked him if he’d ever entertained the notion of a threesome, he said, “You know, it’s hard enough to get one person.”

As a single parent whose relationship universe is quite complex, I have to agree. (Is that first-date advice contest done yet?) Woody (pun intentional) got me thinking (this is shameless, I know), who would I choose for a threesome?

Vicky Cristina Barcelona

A bedroom sexy Scarlett Johansson wouldn’t be a bad choice. Her youthful inexperience is a strike against her, but hot sexy Scarlett Johansson gets props for having tried tantric sex. I might swap Penelope Cruz for another beautiful latina, Christina Aguilera. She’s a definite celebrity MILF, and in concert, it’s clear she knows how to treat a man.

But let’s ground things for a moment and fantasize about Dates a Single Dad Might Actually Go On.

• Coffee date – Mischa Barton drinking Starbucks in Berlin reminded me our world is truly a global village. As a single dad with deep roots at home, I’d love to date a woman who lives in my village, global or not.
• Cocktails – I certainly wouldn’t choose one of those party girls like Lindsay, Paris, or Britney. Too much booze is not a good thing. Cocktails are all about getting dressed up, chatting, flirting, getting to know someone new and totally different. Beyonce or Halle Berry, perhaps?
• Hiking – I know, hiking first dates are a bad idea, but I do enjoy getting out in nature. I might consider Parvati Shallow the Survivor winner, she’s got some outdoor skills. Or for a hike in a bamboo forest, Ziyi Zhang from House of Flying Daggers would be perfect.

Shakira:
Oral Fixation Tour

• Cycling – Shakira. Hips. Don’t. Lie. (Neither does a nice butt.)
• Opera – Keira Knightley is graceful and elegant. And post-opera, she might be up for another kind of indoor fun.
• Cooking – you might think I’d go for a celebrity chef like Top Chef Padma Lakshmi or Rachel Ray. Nah, they’d take charge and have me mincing onions. Cooking on a date should be fun. How about sexy Mariah Carey. Love her voice and that big smile.
• Dining – dinner is a mix of conversation and looking great. Why not Jessica Alba? For starts, we can talk about her acting career.
• Book Club – Padma Lakshmi, of course. She’s Salman Rushdie’s ex, and he’s a big famous author. And yes, I do know what he said about being her partner, “A mortal who makes love to a goddess is doomed, but once chosen cannot avoid his fate.” Let’s just say I wouldn’t kick Fate out of bed for getting crumbs in the sheets.
• Beach date – the beach is for sun tanning, body surfing, and napping (and in Brasil, admiring a nice butt.) Ludivine Sagnier from Swimming Pool has lounging down pat. But for beach activity, Jessica Biel gets my vote. Plus, her smile makes me melt every time.

As for threesomes, beggars can’t be choosers. If Woody Allen insists on casting me across from Scarlett Johansson and Penelope Cruz, I’ll just have to go with the flow.

Mr. Demille, I’m ready for my close-up.

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Cocktails and Booty – Ironman Rocked!

dadshouse — Thu, 05 Jun 2008 20:32:33 +0000

I finally saw Ironman (you can get the Iron man DVD here, or watch it on demand. Do it now. It’s good. No, it’s friggin’ unbelievable. Don’t believe me? Ha. Read on…)

Wow, great flick! And to think I almost missed it. After all, it’s a kid movie (so I thought.) And my kids saw it with their friends during custody time with their mom. (Single parents with shared custody have to call dibs on certain summer movies. Batman Dark Knight is mine!)

Back to Ironman – this film was decidedly not just for kids. As a Silicon Valley single dad who dates, there were several elements I totally related to:

• Cocktails – Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.) loves his drinks, especially when chilled in a bullet-proof chest suitable for any combat zone.

• Booty – Stark makes quick work of an attractive female reporter (loved those boy shorts!) In finest bachelor form he ushers her off before morning sex. Granted, he didn’t do it himself, but at least he didn’t text her!

• Quick Wit – with director Jon Favreu of Swingers fame, did you expect anything else?

• Mega Brains – Stark is the ultimate bad-ass technologist. And just like Silicon Valley greats, he works out of his garage!

• Rockstar Ego – Stark is a confident stud, and Ironman is even studlier. What’s not to like? Every guy would dream of this life.

Add a theme song by Black Sabbath, and voila – a classic. The only thing missing was a dad. Oh wait, here’s Ozzy Osbourne. Isn’t he a patriarch?

Buy the Ironman DVD! It rocks. And it’s one of those movies to watch more than once.

Click here to view the embedded video.

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