Dad’s House

David Mott is on vacation this week, but he invited his favorite bloggers to take over Dad’s House while he’s gone. Today What Men Think pokes around the walk-in closet…

Jimmy Choo Pumps. $600
Louis Vuitton Hand Bag & Wallet. $2500
Chanel Sunglasses. $300
True Religion Jeans. $250
Ed Hardy Basic Tee. $60
Tiffany & Co Pendant. $950
Victoria’s Secret Bra & Panty $75
Dior Watch. $1800

Total? $6535

This would be the average of what I see on Rodeo Dr. or Melrose Ave. in Los Angeles, California. Fortunately, most of America isn’t like Los Angeles. Unfortunately, this is a pretty thrifty outfit for many in Hollywood (including the men).

If I didn’t have to dress up for my business, I would wear a plain T-Shirt and Jeans/Shorts most of the time. Men are simple when it comes to fashion. We like simplicity and comfort. I state on my “About the Blogger” section that I like “back to basics fashion”. I think that a healthy body looks great in a pair of blue jeans a simple white t-shirt. Health and simplicity is a timeless fashion. I see a lot of women get preoccupied with the latest trends and designer goods.

Sadly, the truth about, “What men think about luxury fashion?”
Answer, “Huh?” Don’t ask a man about women’s fashion.

Can I get an amen?

© 2008 What Men Think. All rights reserved. Published by DadsHouseBlog.com with permission from the author.

David Mott is on vacation this week, but he left the keys to Dad’s House with some of his favorite bloggers (they’re behaving, right?). Today Laila, the sexy author of Lulu Notewordy, relaxes in the backyard and ponders love…

I was sitting on Dadshouse’s patio(not really) and thinking about the differences between men and women. I pondered the wonderful, sloppy, mistake-ridden trapse through the backyard of love and relationships…

The crisp sound of chirping, and sight of humming birds bring to mind the flutter and sail of one’s heart; the quest for that calming and chaotic feeling in a new crush. I see ants marching in lines dutifully; and I think of the sometimes inevitable fall into line of marriage, child-rearing in tandem, and the lost sparks necessary routine turning to mundane. I lean back into the beaming rays of the sun, knowing its rays (like an ex) can burn me, or brighten me with equal measure.

The art of attraction has always seemed infinitely flawed to me. I am the first to raise my foolish hand in a crowd asked: “Do you know what you want in a partner?”. It seems simple enough. Right? Just by looking at my handy-dandy Spectrum of Ex you can see I have tested that silly question with equal measure of face-plant falls into love-lust fantasy long distance relationships, and real founded(albeit, ultimately unsuccessful) connections.

Sitting here I find a very small clarity in moment of stillness. I realize that it is so easy to project your best self out to the dating world. Why wouldn’t I? I am still learning, but I think there can often be a great divide between the The man you want and the man you need. I guess self-awareness plays far more into all of it than I originally expected. I am a married commitmentphobe (one of my many personal oxymorons). I have read more books than I will ever admit. I have too great an understanding of the obstacles the human heart faces. The passive avoider, the needy, the active runner, the sex-a-thonist…just checking that you are paying attention.

I write with honesty, I suck at relationships most of the time, but I am smitten with the concept of love, so I say with a rueful smile and the hope that every day is some small step of improvement. Life is short. Love is so rich with experience, finding someone to share your conversations, grilled veggie burger, orgasm(why not)…in the backyard is fun. It is part of the “good stuff” that helps us maintain a level of sanity managing the bad.

There is no doubt we can do it alone, sometimes even enjoy it…but I once heard a quote that stuck with me. I will paraphrase: “Falling in love is learning someone else, hard and fast. If it is real love, you start to see your best self through their eyes, almost as if you are falling in love with yourself….”

It is summertime. You are ripe with the possibility of yourself. That is far greater a tool than anything else. Grab a drink, a patio chair, and take the time to notice what you need vs. what you want. Take the time to find the beauty in the moment and spinning world around us. Love outwardly if you feel the inclination, if not, love inward. There are no wrong turns there.

© 2008 Lulu Notewordy. All rights reserved. Published by DadsHouseBlog.com with permission from the author.

David Mott is on vacation this week, and guest bloggers have the keys to Dad’s House. The party continues today as Lance from HoneyAndLance.com hangs out at the pool and offers dating advice for 40-something men… (btw - if that brunette is still in the Dad’s House pool when I get home, she can stay for good - DM)

Since DM talks a fair amount about dating as a single parent, I thought I would try my hand at some dating tips aimed specifically at DM’s demographic, that is forty-something single men. Since I’m not a forty-something, this is partly based on what I understand about the principles of attraction, but also what I know from a few guys I’ve talked to. Much of this advice would work for a woman also (I think).

Before we start, I want to establish something right out of the gate. Forty-something men are usually looking to date younger women. Shocker, right? That’s a reality, and you can find overwhelming evidence on every online dating site where older guys post their preferred age range. If you’re a younger, attractive woman on one of these sites, you know exactly what I’m talking about. I’m not hating, I’m saying that’s the way it is.

Alrighty, here’s my advice for 40+ guys looking to snag/shag younger women.

Get a cool haircut. If you’ve got a dorky haircut, time to ditch it. Grow it out a bit, go to an expensive stylist and tell them you want to look cool. You don’t have to look like a rock star, but you certainly don’t want to look like the Geico rep either. This is an actionable item right now.

Get some cool threads. This one is huge. In your off hours, make sure you don’t dress like the high school physics teacher. Find a look that suits your body type and get clothes that flatter. Are you tall and thin? Try the long sleeved shirts from Express. If you’re the clean cut type, shop Banana Republic. Also, get a couple pairs of expensive jeans, like don’t be afraid to blow $150 or more on a pair. Also, buy some expensive shoes, again well over $100. Women notice this stuff immediately. Young women will see that you’re hip and with it. This is another actionable item.

Find Commonalities. This includes music, television, movies, websites, books, places to eat and go out, etc. Hey, if you’re going after the 28-year-old hottie and you’re 45, you better know who Incubus is when she starts telling you about their latest concert. Find out what the young chicks are into. If you’re woefully behind the times on music, I suggest spending an afternoon browsing Youtube vids or listening to Pandora.

Play sports or go to the gym. DM is in terrific shape so this doesn’t apply to him, but if you’re a forty-something and obese and balding, you’ve got no shot at the young babes unless you happen to also be a billionaire or Salman Rushdie. Get your butt to the gym and burn off the spare tire. You’ll look better, feel better, and be better positioned to attract any woman.

Be social. Can’t emphasize this enough. This means going to bars and social venues and interacting with the younger set. I would go further and try organizing parties at your house or forming a social group based around your interests. You’re never too old to throw a pool party on a Saturday afternoon or organize a cool dinner party. Don’t limit yourself to online dating…take charge and be a social organizer.

The great thing about throwing parties is that it gives you an excuse to talk to women. That’s right, go to a nice bar on a Friday night with your buds, open the hotties, and towards the end of the interaction invite them to the pool party you’re throwing at your pimp pad in two weeks. Get a number or a Myspace address while you’re at it. It’s much easier to number close if you have something of value to give the chick, that value being the great party you’re inviting her to.

Make a Myspace or Facebook page. It’s dawned on me in the last few months how relevant social networking is to dating, and how effective a good page can be. Race and Kelly, who specialize in social network game, say having a good Myspace page is like having a PR firm working for you 24/7. I totally agree. Get yourself an account, customize it, and put tons of good pictures on there. Not only will this help get you noticed, but it’s a great way to screen potential dates. It’s also easier to get someone’s Myspace info than getting a phone number.

Those are some of the basics to make you more attractive to younger women. Since you’re a 40+ guy, I’m assuming you’ve got your money handled and a solid place to live, which solves much of the social value problem. Keep in mind, chicks are looking for confident, ambitious, secure men, and you’ve already got that. Do the stuff above and you’ll be fun and cool too.

Ladies, do you agree or disagree?

© 2008 HoneyAndLance.com. All rights reserved. Published by DadsHouseBlog.com with permission from the author.

David Mott is on vacation this week, but he left the keys to Dad’s House with some fabulous guest bloggers. Today, Single Mom Seeking’s Rachel Sarah visits the kid’s room…

If my kid had it her way, I’d never have a boyfriend. I’d never go on another date.

My daughter was seven months old when her father walked out and I became a single mom. At that point, I thought my life was over. At age 28, I’d concluded that men were the antagonists.

Well, that didn’t last long. One year later — when my ex clearly wasn’t returning from his European adventure — I was back in the game.

Dating with a toddler was easy-peasy. But as Dad’s House knows, as you get savvier, so do your kids. Also, since it’s just the two of us, Mae and I have quite a super-glue bond.

The last time I went on a date, eight-year-old Mae wanted to know:

• “Where are you going?”
• “Who are you going with?”

I hope that she’ll be honest with me when she’s a teen, like David’s kids. So, I try to model openness.

Me: “I’m going to out for dinner with a friend.”

Mae: “Which friend?”

Me: “His name is Mark–”

Mae: “How do know him?”

You get the picture.

This year in school, Mae’s teacher led a whole course in poetry, and Mae’s favorite style was haiku. If she was going to write a haiku about our future, I think it would go like this:

Mom, don’t get married
Our family is perfect
Just the way it is

Still, I never imagined my life like this. I was sure that I’d be deep into a long-term relationship by now. I’m turning 36 this month (July). I probably won’t have any more kids. But will I ever have a real partner?

The longer I do this — single parenting — the easier it gets. While I haven’t given up finding some strapping, easygoing, here’s-a-love-note-in-your-pocket kind of man, I’m not sure if I want to add a man to our little duo. Maybe my kid is right. Maybe our little family is perfect.

Maybe I just want a man after dark.

Let’s hear from you…. Do see marriage in your future? Or, do you simply want someone after hours?

Rachel Sarah
http://www.singlemomseeking.com/blog

Author of Single Mom Seeking: Play Dates, Blind Dates, and Other Dispatches from the Dating World (2007, Seal Press/Avalon).

© 2008 SingleMomSeeking.com. All rights reserved. Published by DadsHouseBlog.com with permission from the author.

My kids are back from vacationing with their mom, so I am no longer a lone wolf. It was a great three weeks running solo. Some highlights:

• Sailing
• Wine tasting
• Watching the end of Euro 2008
• Watching the start of the Tour de France
• Dates that didn’t pan out
• Dates that did (sorry, I don’t kiss and tell)
• Unmanly acts of Cooking and Reading
• Manly acts of Hooking Up (you’d love details, wouldn’t you…)

And with my kids here, we are promptly leaving for one of the best single parent vacations ever – to a SoCal beach house with my brother and his wife and kids. Woohoo!

While I’m gone next week, I’m leaving the keys to Dad’s House with some fabulous guest bloggers who I respect and adore. They each plan to take over a part of the house. You won’t want to miss it! Drop on by, weigh in with comments, visit their blogs, watch your karma grow.

And meanwhile, I’ll be hitting the beach with my kids and niece and nephew, sipping sunset cocktails with my brother and his wife. Can’t wait!

Hasta la vista, baby!

If you liked this post, you might also enjoy:

• Family Weekend
• Reggae Radio Bob Marley
• Um, Good Morning, America?
• Go, Daddy, Go! (But in Dockers?)
  

© 2008 DadsHouseBlog.com. All rights reserved.

Del.icio.us  |   Digg it  |   Reddit  |   Stumble it  |   Subscribe to Dad’s House

Thursday night is always a great night for a cocktail. (Actually, any night is. But I digress…) I try not to gender stereotype, but tonight’s cocktail tends to have a girlie reputation. Cosmos are that pink drink that so many girls-night-out women adore. As a man, I typically won’t order one in a bar. A three-olive martini not only gives me a stronger image, it usually hits the spot.

But at home, with dinner guests, I’ll shake up some Cosmos, no problem. The key is using Cointreau instead of Triple Sec, and not just for the liqueur’s Global Brand Ambassador. I also use a bit more cranberry juice than some other recipes – it gives the Cosmopolitan more color and tang. As for vodka, there are so many flavors mixed in this drink, I’m not sure the brand matters. I drink Ketel One, and keep a big bottle of it in my freezer.

Glass chilling tip – fill martini glasses with ice and water before you mix the cocktail in a shaker. The glasses will be plenty cold when you’re ready to pour.

Cosmopolitan Recipe

2 parts vodka
1 ½ parts cranberry juice
1 part Rose’s lime juice
1 part Cointreau
Shake sharply with ice
Pour into a chilled martini glass

If you liked this post, you might also enjoy:

• Perfect Gin Martini Recipe
• Vodka Martini Recipe with a Lemon Twist
• Friday Night Cocktails - Gimlet Recipe
• Negroni Cocktail Recipe
  

© 2008 DadsHouseBlog.com. All rights reserved.

Del.icio.us | Digg it | Reddit | Stumble it | Subscribe to Dad’s House

My sixteen-year-old daughter recently got her driver license, and I added her to my auto insurance policy. Despite her being a girl, getting good grades, driving only occasionally - her rate is through the roof, as it would be for any first-time driver.

At least I can split the cost with her mom. Right?

Wrong!

Insurance companies in California insure a driver for a specific car. They rated my daughter for my vehicle, but they won’t insure her if she drives her mom’s car. On the surface, that seems reasonable. We’re a two-home family and my daughter spends equal time with me and her mom. Two homes, two cars, two insurance policies.

Since she only lives with me half time, I should pay half as much to insure her. Right?

Wrong!

The insurance company explained it this way: your daughter has 24/7 access to your vehicle, so we need to insure her on it 24/7.

What a load of crap. My daughter only lives with me half time, and I only have one car. She has access less than half the time. Compared to other teens, that’s less than half as much chance for her to get into an accident in my car.

In a traditional (non-divorced) home with multiple cars, the teen gets rated for primarily driving one of the vehicles. However - if that car isn’t available, the teen is allowed to drive a secondary vehicle in the household, and they will be insured.

So, my ex-wife’s car be considered a secondary vehicle. Right?

Wrong!

The insurance company wants nothing to do with my ex-wife’s car. Unless… if my ex-wife moves her auto policy so we’re both insured by the same company, then they will create a policy that covers my daughter on both cars, without charging us double.

Sounds to me like single parents are being discriminated against by the insurance industry. Unless we’re willing to shill and sell an auto policy to our ex.

If you liked this post, you might also enjoy:

• You-Know-What-us Interruptus
• How to Talk to Your Daughter About Sex
• MySpace, Facebook, Yahoo IM - How Do Parents Eavesdrop Anymore?
  

© 2008 DadsHouseBlog.com. All rights reserved.

Del.icio.us | Digg it | Reddit | Stumble it | Subscribe to Dad’s House

Over the long weekend a buddy and I spent a day wine tasting in the Santa Cruz mountains. Which is to say, rather than tasting we socialized and drank. As it should be for a single dad like me. (My buddy is married, which could spell wingman trouble, but he’s a good and respectful companion, not someone who lies to women.)

No matter the region - Napa, Sonoma, Monterey, Paso Robles, Santa Barbara, Santa Ynez, Santa Cruz – wineries are great places for singles to meet. Simply step up to the tasting bar next to a pair of attractive women. In ten minutes, you can rub shoulders, engage in conversation, amuse with wit. And you don’t have to know a thing about wine. If the tasting ends with no connection, everyone goes their merry way. But if there’s a spark or you simply get along, you can suggest meeting up at another winery. All these things happened this past weekend, so it was a typical good day.

And then I fell hard for one of the pourers.

We entered a less-trafficked winery and she immediately turned my head. Thirty-something, cute, athletic, nice smile, a little shy. Like an older, down-to-earth, Lost in Translation Scarlett Johansson. Now then, when it comes to bars and clubs, I have practically no game. I’m terrible at approaching women, making small talk, flirting and raising the heat. But in a tasting environment or a bar in a nice restaurant where the banter is witty and low key, I definitely hold my own. And so it was with all the confidence in the world that I stepped up to the bar right in front of this pourer.

For story-telling purposes, I’ll leave out the wine pouring small talk and cut straight to the chase.

There were horses near the winery and one galloped into view. The pourer was wearing Wranglers, an aggie-style jean. I asked if she rode.
“No,” she said.

Okay, no problem, I’d try a different approach. Country music played softly on the radio, and I’m more of an alt-rock fan. Everyone has their preference. I asked the pourer what music she liked.
“Country,” she said. It figured. “And alt-rock.”

Ding-ding-ding!

I immediately told a funny story involving San Francisco’s infamous alt-rock radio station, the One and Only Live105.
“Live105,” she said. “Is that classic rock?”
Um, no.

So much for that tack. I looked for another approach. She was in great shape, lean and strong, so I figured sports and activity might be my in. I asked if she was a gymnast.
She brightened. “I used to be! Now I run marathons.”

Ding-ding-ding-ding-ding!

This time I had her, for sure. I’d run seven marathons in my day, before sore knees encouraged me to take up cycling. Turns out she’d run two, including Boston. That meant she’s fast, since you actually have to quality for Boston. She’d run the 26.2 miles in 3 hours and 12 minutes.
“Have you run Boston?” she asked.
“No,” I said. My marathon best was 3:29, and I needed a 3:15 to qualify. “Missed it by fourteen minutes.”

She raised her eyebrows, as if surprised I was slower than her. Whatever. Everyone’s different, and no two races are the same. That she was faster didn’t make me feel unmanly. But the conversation sputtered. She wasn’t giving me an inch, let alone opening up, and I resigned myself to having struck out.

As my buddy and I finished our last taste of wine, we chatted about the Tour de France. Cycling is one of my favorite sports. Turns out the pourer was just getting into cycling for triathlons. Wish I’d known that right off the bat. Oh well, We drained our glasses and left.

Outside, my buddy berated me for not getting her phone number.
“She deflected everything I tossed at her,” I said.
“You could have invited her cycling.”

Good point. But my flirtatious energy had been sapped, and I needed to gear up for another winery. After all, there were sure to be more singles at the next wine tasting bar.

If you liked this post, you might also enjoy:

• Supermarket Dating – Cure for the Common Online Date
• How to Marry a Millionaire
• Best Single Parent Family Vacations EVER
  
• Is the Dating Pool Really That Small?

© 2008 DadsHouseBlog.com. All rights reserved.

Del.icio.us | Digg it | Reddit | Stumble it | Subscribe to Dad’s House

Her ad last Tuesday was simple and direct:

Summer Romance - I’m 35, attractive and active, take good care of myself. I’m educated with a successful career. Looking for an intelligent, fit, emotionally healthy man, 35-45. Let’s meet for drinks tonight and see where things lead.

Summer romance with an attractive woman who wanted to meet tonight? Sounded perfect to me. It was already 8:45pm, and she’d posted at 8:30pm, so I had a real shot. Some women posting on Craigslist received 300 responses. For a guy to get picked, sending the first compelling reply was key. I emailed a note and a pic of my smiling face.

Hey – I like how you sound. I’m a SWM, early 40s, educated, in shape, nearby. Drinks tonight sounds great.

The best thing about Craigslist is its immediacy. Forget match.com and yahoo personals with their checkboxed descriptions of an ideal partner, prolonged emails, and lengthy search for the one. On Craigslist it was all about who wants to meet right now? Chemistry is felt in an instant in person, after all. The important thing is to meet.

Half an hour passed.

Surely she’d picked someone by now. If she was real. I’d been around the Craigslist block enough times to get burned more than once. But I’d also met some really great women – for coffee, drinks, hiking, cycling, dinner. I just figure you have to break some eggs to make an omelet. And if said omelet is made for two the morning after an evening date? I won’t complain.

She sent an email. Her pic was attractive. Her note was brief:

Looks good. Where do you live?

I know enough not to give personal details online to a stranger, so I side-step questions like that. The key was to meet, especially when her ad said tonight. She was looking for summer romance, not looking all summer for the perfect partner. I wrote right back.

I’m one town over. Are you in the mood for cocktails or wine?

Another five minutes passed, not a good sign. She might be considering a handful of guys. And why not? If she was out clubbing, she’d have an entire venue of men to flirt with. Finally she wrote and suggested we chat on Yahoo IM.

Her: hi!
Me: hey, how are you?
Her: I’m good. Getting a little late.

(Fair enough, she’d posted an hour before.)

Me: I live nearby. Let’s meet right now and chat over drinks.
Her: that would be fun, but I have to get up early.

(Granted, it was a weeknight. But she’s the one who’d posted looking for tonight.)

Me: you’ll be in bed early. It’s just a drink
Her: maybe you want more than that

(From summer romance to one-night-stand – maybe she was testing my intentions)

Me: no, just a drink to see if we click. Summer’s just getting started. Plenty of time for fun.
Her: good! But I really do have to get up early. Maybe tomorrow night?

(Sigh. I wouldn’t push. Best to play on her terms.)

Me: I would, but I already have dinner plans with a buddy. Sorry.
Her: no problem. How about Thursday?
Me: sure! That would be great.

We agreed to chat some more during the day on Thursday to iron out plans. Craigslist immediacy was being tossed out the window, but at least I had a date. With an attractive, educated, sexy woman, no less.

On Thursday I couldn’t wait for our evening date. Drinks with romance potential. This could turn into a very good summer, indeed. Too bad we hadn’t exchanged cell phone numbers, we could swap some flirty text messages or actually talk. I sent her email. The response was immediate:

From: MAILER-DAEMON@yahoo.com
Sorry, we were unable to deliver your message. That account has been deactivated.

Talk about simple and direct. Ah, Craigslist.

If you liked this post, you might also enjoy:

• Internet Dating - Sadly, I’m a Bit of an Expert
  
• Texting for Chemistry – Confessions of a Serial Online Dater, part 2
• A Sexy Flirty Dirty Text Message

© 2008 DadsHouseBlog.com. All rights reserved.

Del.icio.us | Digg it | Reddit | Stumble it | Subscribe to Dad’s House

When Tour de France cyclists rolled through California the past two years, my kids and I were there to watch, snapping photos and grabbing autographs from international cycling greats. We caught a couple stage finishes in San Luis Obispo (one in the rain) and a time trial in Solvang. And this year in Palo Alto, I actually rode with Team CSC’s Big Jens Voigt. (Okay, so he was on a training ride and I happened to be there, and barely kept pace with him for 200 yards. Whatever – I rode with him!)

As for the autographs – the cyclists were dining en masse in San Luis Obispo at the Madonna Inn. My son hovered near the dining room entrance and scored signatures from the argyle armada Team Slipstream riders Danny Pate and Steven Cozza. Then a woman involved with the race asked if he wanted to meet other cyclists. “Yeah,” he said. She led him into the dining room. We can almost make out all the names.

If anyone can figure out some of those autographs, feel free to chime in. Possible candidates: Ivan Basso, Tommy Danielson, Allan Davis, Jason McCartney, Brian Vandborg, Johan Bruyneel

First, my son met Team Discovery, the former US Postal Team that supported Lance Armstrong through 7 Tour de France wins. There was Levi Leipheimer, George Hincapie, Ivan Basso, and the rest eating dinner together. (Team Discovery has since disbanded, and the cyclists ride for teams like Team Astana, Team High Road (now Team Columbia), and the Argyle Armada - the former Team Slipstream, now Garmin-Chipotle.)

My son told them about his BMX trick bike with pegs. They asked if he had a road bike like ones they road, and he told them, “No, but my dad does.”

When a table full of international cyclists give their nods of approval, definitely Dad points scored.

“Does your dad race?” they asked.
“Nah,” my son said. “I think he’s pretty slow.”
Ouch.

He went on to meet members of Team CSC, including Jens Voigt (my aforementioned riding partner), Stuart O’Grady, and Christian Van de Velde. Everyone was super nice to my son, not only signing autographs but chatting him up in the process.

The great thing for cycling fans at Tour events is sitting right on the edge of the road. Here are photos from the 2007 Amgen Tour of California Solvang time trial.

Rabobank’s Mauricio Alberto Ardila Cano

Team Slipstream cyclist Danny Pate riding for the Argyle Armada

Hey, it’s Nacho Libre!

Team CSC cyclist Big Jens Voigt

Fast Freddie Rodriguez

Love the winged helmet and huge American flag

Stuart O’Grady from Team CSC

Levi Leipheimer en route to winning the Tour of California. (Sadly, Levi and Team Astana aren’t allowed to ride in this year’s Tour de France, through no fault of his own)

If you liked this post, you might also enjoy:

• Way Beyond Soccer Dad
• Go, Daddy, Go! (But in Dockers?)
• Greg Norman’s Yacht Has Nothing On This

© 2008 DadsHouseBlog.com. All rights reserved.

Del.icio.us | Digg it | Reddit | Stumble it | Subscribe to Dad’s House