Dad's House » single parents

Single Parent Downsizing Home Life

dadshouse — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 11:31:18 +0000

My teen daughter heads off to college this fall, and I’ll have a half-empty nest, with just my son and me.

Teen boys don’t need much more than a stocked refrigerator and a working TV. (Oh, and a place to study, of course.)

Plus, my son only lives with me half time, spending the rest of his nights at his mom’s house.

Do we really need a house and yard for 1 1/2 men? And how does my son feel bout that?

Head over to the Silicon Valley Moms Blog for an open house viewing:

Single Parent Downsizing Home Life

(If that pre-programmed link doesn’t work, go straight to Dad’s House posts at SV Moms)

If we downsize, can we still super-size those fries?

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Frazzled and Stressed Single Parent

dadshouse — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 11:33:31 +0000

I’m stressed.

I’m frazzled.

I’m losing my mind.

But don’t worry, I’m just a single parent!

Usually I keep my cool as a single dad raising teens. But this week already has me batty.

Head on over to the Hot Dads Blog and razz the:

Frazzled Single Dad

(If that pre-programmed link doesn’t work, head straight to Hot Dads blog.)

Then come back for drinks and sex. (Did I just say that? I must be frazzled!)

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Facebook Single Parents – Six Degress of Kevin Bacon

dadshouse — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 11:25:12 +0000

Dad’s House has a Facebook fan page. Become a fan!

In 2008, Microsoft researchers looked at a huge instant messenger database (180 billion messages), and proved we are all within six degrees of instant messaging separation from each other.

This is great news for the game Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon, where you try make movie associations between actors to the Hollywood star. It was a rage back in the 90’s. For instance:

Elvis was in Change of Habit with Ed Asner
Asner was in JFK with Kevin Bacon

So Ed Asner is one degree from Kevin Bacon, and Elvis is two.

How does this tie-in to Dad’s House blog? A college roommate of mine was a computer effects supervisor for the Kevin Bacon movie Hollow Man.

Which makes me two degrees from Kevin Bacon (i.e. the same as Elvis.)

I figure if IM counts as a degree of separation, so does blogging. Which means if you’re a friend of mine, you’re three degress of Kevin Bacon. That’s pretty damn awesome, don’t you think?

Wouldn’t you know, I finally set up a Facebook page for people who read Dad’s House. Go there and become a fan of David Mott writer, and make the Kevin Bacon association official:

David Mott, Dad’s House blog, Facebook Page – One Degree Closer to Kevin Bacon

(Or just do it because you like Dad’s House blog, or want to follow my writing projects.)

As QTMama might say, bacon goes good with everything. And now Kevin Bacon is less than six degrees away.

Here’s a starter list of Single Parents on Facebook:

QTMama
Kat Wilder
Big Little Wolf’s Daily Plate of Crazy
Ts Quest
Single Mom Says
Dad’s House
Single Parents Connection Group on Facebook

Single parents, feel free to add your Facebook page url in a comment below.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Hollow Man trailer, starring Kevin Bacon, youtube video

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Clueless Single Dad Misses His Daughter’s Winter Ball

dadshouse — Tue, 02 Feb 2010 11:21:32 +0000

I’ve been a single parent for ten years now, and I take great pride in taking an active role in both my kids’ lives. Besides taking care of them at home, cooking, cleaning, talking to them about sex – I’ve also volunteered in their classrooms, coached a few sports teams, and helped with other activities.

So when I recently discovered that my teen daughter already attended her high school winter ball – and I hadn’t known about – you’d think I would be outraged.

Actually, it didn’t bother me a bit.

Oh, sure. I want to see my daughter every time she puts on a fancy dress. She’s a sporty girl, so it doesn’t happen too often. (But when it does, boys watch out! She’s got Italian and Swedish genes.)

And yeah, I want to know who my daughter is going out with, then make the boy sweat while she gets ready, asking about his intentions and future career plans. (Forget meeting the Fockers, he has to meet me!)

But the weekend my daughter went to her ball, I was out of town. So neither of those things happened.

Still, you’d think this single dad wouldn’t be totally clueless to the affair. And I wasn’t. Just a few weeks before, my daughter and her friends went to the mall to look at ball gowns. I simply didn’t know the date of the dance. And no one bothered to tell me. (Missed communications in two-home families can be deadly.)

Here’s why it doesn’t bother me that I didn’t know she already went:

1) My daughter never asked me to bust out my wallet and pay for a dress. (Score!)

2) I didn’t stay up late, stressing like crazy about whether she was making good choices all night (she did, and I got a great night’s sleep.)

3) I drank coffee martinis and had my own late night fun (conference affairs are a wonderful thing.)

And so, to whoever took my daughter to the dance, and whoever brought her home (no telling who’s involved) – I say thank you for returning her safe and sound.

When’s that spring dance? I need to make plans.

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Holiday Stress Relief, Single Parent Style

dadshouse — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 11:33:39 +0000

Oh, my. This has been a rough week in my single parent home.

My eighteen-year-old daughter has been writing college application essays like crazy. She also has finals this week. She also had multiple varsity soccer games to play. My thirteen-year-old son had quizzes and tests. And a band concert.

They’re only with me halftime, but it felt like double time.

And me? Just your typical holiday craziness, and them some. Put up the tree, shop for gifts, fill out financial add forms since my daughter will be in college next fall, meet work deadlines. Oh – and run a household solo.

The stress of it all chipped away until I got sick. Headache, chills, sore throat, runny nose, tired as heck.

But tonight, I feel great. How did I do it?

1) I slept. When the body is run down, sometimes you just have to let go off all the things bothering you, lay your head down, and sleep. Let the body heal itself. This helped a lot.

2) I drank grapefruit tea in the morning, and a shot of tequila at night. Old home remedies really do work wonders.

3) I ignored xmas shopping – it can wait another day – and I focused on my work deadlines. Once I meet those, I’ll have all the time in the world.

4) I carved out time for the financial aid stuff. It’s got to be done, and actually didn’t take that long.

Finally, and best of all – I went and watched my daughter play soccer. They beat one of the best high schools in the area. Then I went and watched my son and his school band play their concert. Putting family first makes all the difference.

By the time the middle school band was playing Mars by Holst, I wasn’t thinking about one stressor in my life. I immersed myself in the sounds of trombones and timpanis, clarinets and flutes, and my son kicking ass with his trumpet section. (The band played great – I truly had shivers up my spine.)

Holiday stress may have slowed me for a day, but I kicked its ass in the end.

Ommmmmmmmmmmmmm.

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ABC News Interview – When Moms Flip Out

dadshouse — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 11:34:04 +0000

When Parents Flip Out – you know that moment when your kids drive you to the absolute brink, and you go ballistic shouting at them to correct whatever is wrong? Clean up your mess! Put your shoes away! Get your homework done! Quit fighting! etc.

Not every parent flips out like that. I happen to be one who stays cool, calm, and collected.

How do I do it? I was recently asked that as a guest on the ABC News Now show Moms Get Real, hosted by Emmy Award-winning news correspondent Juju Chang, for a video segment titled When Moms Flip Out. It’s fun and conversational, not all serious.

Don’t worry, this isn’t about moms flipping out and dads staying cool. The segments tend to have more of a mom audience, hence Mom in the name. As a single dad who does all the parenting in my house, I get asked to share my parenting perspectives on mom blogs and shows.

If you’re dieing to see and hear me talk, by all means queue the video… (I appear in the last 3 minutes of the segment) Feel free to make fun of my eyes that couldn’t seem to find the camera lens. And while Juju Chang correctly named my blog DadsHouseBlog.com, the production assistant had other ideas in the swanky graphic. (Doh!)

In the clip, I shared how I stay cool, calm, and collected with my kids, fostering a respectful and considerate attitude from them in return. (Here’s the same video clip at ABC News: “Flip Out” Triggers, and How Moms Handle Them.)

While I’m tooting my media horn, other appearances I made this past fall include a guest spot on CBS radio, Los Angeles, for The Rules of Engagement, hosted by relationship expert and the nation’s top matchmaker, Amber Kelleher. Also, CNN.com interviewed me for a single dad’s take on Jon and Kate Gosselin’s divorce.

I’d tell Mr. DeMille that I’m ready for my close-up, but I don’t think he’s on Skype!

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Are You Divorced? Pick Up Line Needed

dadshouse — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 11:30:10 +0000

I recently watched my son compete in a post-season wrestling tournament that involved athletes from multiple cities. There were plenty of parents, including some hot moms who turned my head. I’d love to meet a woman at one of my kids’ events!

Judging by the wedding bands, though, most of these moms were married. I’m not looking for a discreet affair with a lonely housewife. I’m just a single dad looking to meet a single woman at my same life stage.

There were plenty of parents at the tournament, many of whom I knew or at least recognized. Some I only ever see at sporting events like this. Others I hadn’t seen in years. One dad was wearing a sweatshirt with a corporate logo of a company where I used to work.

“When were you there?” I asked.
“Twenty years ago” he said.
“Me, too!”

Turns out we worked in neighboring divisions. But as we talked, I noticed a woman keenly interested in our conversation. I looked at her a few times, until recognition seeped in. She was an engineer who had worked down the hall from me twenty years ago. Smart, attractive, confident.

And here she was now, a hottie mom with kids in tow.

How to Pick Up a Woman in Front of Your Son

“Didn’t you work there, too?” I asked.
She smiled and said yes.
“I totally remember you,” I said. And I did. She has striking features, and looked as head-turning attractive now as she did back then. I’m middle-aged, and middle-aged women put me in a tizzy.

“I remember you, too,” she said.
Her young daughter grabbed her leg, and smiled.

Is It Better to Date a Single Dad?

Twenty years ago when I worked down the hall from this woman, I had just gotten married. I was a newlywed thinking about having kids. As such, I never once showed interest in her, let alone pursued her. Though, if I’d been single at the time, I would have chased her hard.

And now, twenty years later, the only thought in my mind was – is she divorced?

Asking if a woman is divorced is a hell of a pick-up line. And one I’m not entirely comfortable using. I tried engaging her in light conversation, hoping she’d mention something about her divorce, waiting for her to run a wedding-band-free finger through her brunette hair. But nothing.

How to Start Dating a Single Dad

If we’d been great friends back in the day, and wanted to get back in touch, I could have swapped emails or phone numbers with her. But like I said, I was newly married back then. We barely knew each other.

How do you ask a woman whether she’s divorced and a single mom?

In retrospect, I suppose I should have asked something about her husband, like whether he was at the wrestling tourney. Her answer would have told me all I needed to know. But in hoping she was divorced, I was mentally willing any husband of hers out of existence, and the question never popped into my head.

I need to find out which sport has the next multi-city event, then get my son training so he can make it to the post-season. Then I can try again!

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