In a few weeks it will be November, and then we’re into the holiday season. For some divorced single parents with shared custody, when you don’t see the kids this can be a lonely time of year. A solo vacation can be a great escape. But who says you have to be alone?
There are plenty of group vacation adventure tours from Backroads, REI Adventures, and O Solo Mio. Or if you just want to hang out with other singles, play tennis, hit the beach, dance at night – Club Med isn’t a bad way to go.
I did a week vacation at Club Med in Turks and Caicos over New Years one year. It was a blast. I read, sunbathed, chatted with people from all walks of life. But the best part was meeting a Cuban woman on day one. Dark hair, olive skin, nice curves. Apparently, I was the only guy man enough to approach her on the beach that first day. And get this, I did so because she was reading a book on spirituality that I’d read. (A killer approach!)
Yes, we woke up together all week. Club Med vacations can be like that. A shallow quickie fling, but just what I needed at the time.
The most memorable part of our “romance” was skinny dipping one night. We stumbled off the Club Med dance floor and took a walk down the beach. Starry sky, lapping waves, cool breeze, warm ocean. Neither one of us had skinny-dipped before, and we suddenly both knew we had to do it right then. We tore each others clothes off, then ran into the water together. We floated and touched and kissed. The starry night was amazing. Being present to that moment with her was surreal.
So, if you’re looking for your own skinny dipping story, or you just want to sunbathe and read a book on vacation, give a look to Club Med. Maybe you’ll meet a hottie Cuban.
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October 17th, 2008
Posted in
travel |
18 comments
My kids left on vacation Friday with their mom, and I’ll be a lone wolf for three weeks. Full-time parents might cheer that break. But if you’re a single parent sharing custody, like me, chances are you’d rather have the kids around. Time spent with children is precious; they grow up quick.
Their mom and I alternate summers for taking them on big vacations. Here’s how I’ve dealt with summer alone-time before.
• Newly divorced – the first time they took off with their mom, I dated like CRAZY. I had just discovered internet dating and thought it was manna from heaven. Interestingly enough, the two relationships I entered that summer were from someone I met at a wedding, and someone I was set up with by friends. (So much for online dating, eh?)
• Two years after divorce – I had just broken up with a girlfriend, and friends were still conflicted about my divorce: they hadn’t taken sides between me and my ex, and they ended up leaving us both a bit out to pasture to fend for ourselves. With my kids gone, I was LONELY (and depressed). Like any good single, I fled to Club Med for a week of drinking and hooking up (in my case, with a gorgeous and sexy Cuban woman, who made fun of my salsa dancing skills, but otherwise liked me).
But debauchery only carries you so far. At some point, I hit rock bottom. No friends to hang out with, no kids to take care of, no girlfriend to smooch. Like Elizabeth Gilbert in Eat, Pray, Love, I was wondering what’s the point of this thing called life. Let’s just say, since then I changed a lot. That summer was cathartic, and I’ve gone on to write two novels about the spiritual, emotional, psychological, and social shifts that arise from divorce and single parenting.
• Four years after divorce – by this point I had a completely different set of friends, ones who were more accepting and supportive of me being a single dad and single man. We enjoy yachting, and we sailed the British Virgin Islands together for a week, sleeping on the boat, listening to reggae, and drinking way too many Bushwackers. I also hung out with good friends in Manhattan, running in Central Park, dining in fabulous restaurants, and sighting celebrities. (Celebs I’ve seen up-close in NYC over the years: Marisa Tomei, James Iha from Smashing Pumpkins, Toby Maguire filming Spiderman 3, Dustin Hoffman, Scarlett Johansson (I wish))
• Six years after divorce – I finally accepted the fact that I can’t force the outcome of my future. I went with the flow and dated four women at once. Rock concerts, wine tasting, weekend road trips, a lot of cycling. Fun times, for sure.
Which brings me to now. I have no plan. Even though I’m faced with three weeks alone, I’m not too concerned. I won’t throw myself into online dating, or rush off on a singles holiday. I’ll just take each day as it comes and see what enters my life. No expectations, but open to possibilities.
Sometimes a lone wolf just needs to howl.
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June 23rd, 2008
Posted in
dating, hookups, online dating, vacation |
26 comments
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